Thursday, June 25, 2015

Dream Job!

So, since I was about 5yrs old, there are only 4 things I've ever really wanted to be as an adult. I'm pretty sure 1 of them is totally out of the question now (though it wasn't always), but I actually got to be 1 of these 4 things last month!!! Here they are, in no particular order...

- professional track athlete
- public speaker
- artist (mostly with paint & canvas, but just in general)
- writer

I'm sure you can guess which of these is not like the others!! Haha. Oh well, I'm over it.

I probably told a bunch of you, but I got to speak at a homeschooling conference for Classical Conversations back in May. It was honestly one of the top 3 experiences of my life. One of the rare times where I could feel God with me so closely that I felt like I could almost reach out touch Him, like I could just run & jump up into the clouds. (Let's not get into poor theology on that one, I know I could never touch Him in my flesh & not burn up instantly!)

First time - when I high jumped 5'7" the first time. I know that sounds weird, but God was so near me, giving me wings, making me humble & causing me to just praise Him. I didn't feel unstoppable, I just realized how BIG God was & felt amazed that little old me got to experience Him in that way, accomplishing something I'd worked so hard for. I honestly couldn't believe it. Even though I wanted to clear that bar, I was still truly in disbelief that He helped me do it, even though it was just a small, seemingly insignificant thing in & of itself.

Second time - in Thailand. I was sick the day we were going to go zip-lining, but I decided being sick while doing something crazy was better than being sick on a couch all day. My fever raged, I was so weak, but it was still amazing. I cannot explain why, but being in a foreign land & seeing God work in a distant part of the world, even in small ways, was an incredible blessing. On the long drive to the zip-lining area of the jungle, I listened to worship music & I felt like God was sitting next to me, helping me to see His goodness across the globe, despite my momentary sickness. And even while feeling miserable, I felt amazing. I know that sounds weird, but again, I felt honored, small, and in awe during that time. Like I was so lucky to be there.

Third time - speaking at the Salem Practicum. At other conferences I've been to, I've heard the speakers say things like "I feel so honored to be your speaker" or "I will miss you all tomorrow" or "what a blessing you guys have been." It always seemed fake to me, like they were just trying to make us feel good about being the audience. But let me tell you, it's true! I felt like God must be far beyond the gracious God I consider Him to be in order to give tiny, little me such a great opportunity & responsibility in being a teacher for 3 days. The group was so gracious to me, with veteran moms & experienced speakers thanking me & encouraging me. And truly, I was sad to go back home & not see most of those people again, either for a while or ever! I literally cannot reason through how I got to be a part of it.

I know that not everyone, and probably not many people, really want to do endless amounts of reading & research in order to talk for 3 full days about science, education & teaching your children at home, but I still feel incredibly special for being chosen. Like maybe I fooled too many people to sneak my way in! Seriously, they did not know enough about me to be able to say "Yes, she can do it!" I'm still just amazed about it all.

It was definitely a lot of work. I could not have spent even 1 more hour prepping than I did. I read all the books, fixed all the slides, knew my stuff pretty well, did outside research, had a good plan, but I was still so nervous. I drove 1hr each way, each day to get there, and the first day was definitely the most nerve wracking. I had to keep telling myself that I was well prepared, that all there was left to do was to show up & do what I had planned to do. My nerves definitely got the best of me, but somehow, God helped me out & it was a fabulous 3 days. I played different worship music on my drive each day, and I got a tiny taste of what it might feel like to spend eternity praising Him. When He is there with you, it is unlike any other experience. It's this endless cycle of knowing Him, thanking Him, praising Him, that gives us a deeper understanding, even just by a hair, of the amazing truths surrounding who He is.

And yes, in case you are wondering, I'm doing it again, in less than a month ;) How lucky am I??

And I'm still incredibly excited about it! There are a few more supplemental books that I'm reading now, and re-reading some of the others too. It's a different location, different set of moms, different type of group, but I'm trusting that God already knows what I will say & what those ladies need to hear. He knows how I will learn & grow, which is far more important that being seen they way I want to be seen. But mostly, I am banking of the fact that all this makes Him look good, because He IS good. Far more than good. Even in our bad, He shows how He is good. In all the difficult things, we can see that He is pushing us toward knowing Him, which is our greatest joy, and is also my foremost goal for my kids - to know Him & make Him known, in every circumstance.

So, wish me luck in July! You'll hear from me again in August, if not sooner. And if you want to sign up last-minute for any of these CC practicums, you can find one near you here...

Have an awesome rest of your summer! Enjoy the rest time & take time to revel in the ways your kids have grown over the year!!

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