Tuesday, July 19, 2016


It's almost here!

On Thursday I'm flying solo across the country to attend a Speaking & Writing conference! Ummm, that's a little crazy, considering how much of an amateur I am, or at least feel like I am. I haven't really been nervous yet, but over the weekend my mom was asking me more questions about it and the gravity of this expedition is sinking in. Lately I've actually been more nervous thinking about all the clothes I need to pack and figuring out if all my outfits (highly planned and coordinated) will actually fit in a carry-on. But overall, I feel really calm compared to my usual self.

I can't tell if I am just incredibly relaxed and happily content, or if I am totally deceiving myself and will be a basket-case in a couple days. I am definitely excited, a tiny bit nervous, and trying to figure out what books and notebooks I should bring. I'm also preparing a five-minute devotional I will give with a small group of women I've already met via email. God totally provided an interesting topic through so many different avenues there was no possible way for me to ignore it. Don't worry, I'll write it all up to post on the blog soon, possibly mid-flight.

I've been blessed by how many of my friends and family have expressed their excitement for me. Some of them seem more excited than I am! I've spent a lot of my time bouncing between two drastically different hypothetical situations. I keep feeling scared that the women there might be shallow, speaking only in cliches and vague ideas about being a "good Christian" or fearing that all of them will be light-years beyond me in knowledge, experience and ability, causing me to feel like this was a giant waste of time and money. I'm sure it will be somewhere between those two different imaginary happenings and I look forward to all the thinking, observing, and then attempting to put everything in my head into real, comprehendible language.

I have no idea what I will come away with, but I am especially excited for the session about presenting yourself as a professional speaker, and for the special lunch session for Compel members with Lysa Terkeurst. There are also some other homeschool moms I am hoping to meet up with the first morning - I'm praying at least a couple of them will be women I can connect with more long-term.

Overall, I'm most nervous about who I will sit with and the possibility of people not talking to me. I definitely feel more extroverted when I am without my children, so I am guessing neither of those things will be a major problem. Even if I sit alone a good portion of the time, I'm sure I will still be gleaning so much from all the speakers that I won't have time to dwell on it. And really, maybe it's silly to be nervous about such a minor thing, but it's a deep insecurity I have, and something I am trying to overcome by trusting in God's goodness and love for me.

How can you pray for me? Oh, thanks for asking ;) Pray for my husband home alone with the kids! Then, pray I feel God's presence there. I truly want to know Him more and get better at sharing His love and power to those around me. If that means pursuing writing and speaking more purposefully, then I want to go for it! But if I need to keep working diligently at becoming a better writer here on my blog and only pursuing the speaking stuff here-and-there as opportunities arrive, then I want to be content with that too. Either way, I want to get better at being purposeful with my time and intentional with my words, whether they are spoken or written, here on my blog, or in my text conversations, or in person with loved ones day-to-day.

Thanks for all your encouragement and excitement for this week of my life! I will write again soon and fill you in on all our house stuff too. Praying you see God's love and care in your life today.

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