Endless Beauty.

I love thinking about eternity. As a kid, I would sometimes sit out on the sidewalk in front of my house, staring at the sunset, imagining what eternity would be like. I'm not exactly sure why sunsets and sunrises seem to trigger my mind in this way, but I do have a few ideas.

A few weeks ago, I saw the most amazing sunrise. It was not in an amazing setting though. I was in my car, sweaty and stinky from my morning workout, when I saw the brilliant orange light textured upon the underside of the clouds for miles and miles across the sky. There were electrical poles, stop-lights, too many cars and trucks to really enjoy it as much as I wanted. But it was such a lovely few minutes, gazing at the vastness of our sky while I tried to drive my car, intermittently gaping at the beauty of reflected light.

I have a deep inner desire to make something beautiful. It doesn't often matter what it is. My bed, a painting, a lettering-project, my nails, or even my eyelids. I can't explain why, but seeing something beautiful brings such great pleasure. Does it do the same for you?

My theory is that beauty shows God.

The whole point of us being in eternity with God is to enjoy Him forever. And I believe a large part of our enjoyment in eternity will be experiencing the beauty of God and everything He makes.

Think of the most beautiful sunset or sunrise you have ever seen. What was the one thing that made it bittersweet? That it ended.

Now think of a glorious photo or painting of a sunset. What is the one thing that makes it bittersweet? That you cannot actually be there, where that sunset it happening. You can view it, but you are not fully immersed in it.

And that's where the seed of eternity is planted. We see it in our longings.

Can you even contemplate the initial joy of a sunset lasting forever? Our minds cannot even go there. We cannot comprehend being that intensely happy for all of time... not even just all of time, but beyond the end of time!

When I started thinking about eternity in this way, I was kind of astonished. Why do we not talk about this? Why isn't the endless beauty that is God something we never mention? Granted, it is kind of unfathomable. But who wants to think about things we can fully comprehend anyway :)

The endless beauty that we will experience in eternity is just a part of the joy we will dwell in forever. That's a truth we can count on, that we can bring out on rough days and look forward to. It's a truth we can savor in the small, fleeting moments of boring, dull days (of which there are far too many, right?).

So take a few minutes to listen to a lovely song. Go smell some fragrant flowers. Look at pictures of exotic, fantastic places around the globe, and let the immensity of how great God's beauty is and will be soak into your soul.

God is the most beautiful thing we will ever experience. And if we take just a few minutes to think about what a glorious promise and experience enjoying His beauty for all eternity will be, we will walk with more joy in our todays.

"One thing that I would ask from the LORD, that I shall seek:

That I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, 

To behold the beauty of the LORD 

And to meditate in His temple."

Psalm 27:4

In Hot Pursuit.

When was the last time you had a goal? Something legitimately tangible, something you could take steps toward with confidence, knowing you could reach the end result you desired?

I often have a hard time pulling these sorts of memories out of my brain but I do remember when I first started making wire-wrapped studs for my jewelry business. I had a craft fair coming up and I had a certain number of earrings I wanted to make sure were available and ready for purchase. I looked at how many days of work I had until then, how many earrings I wanted to have finished, and basically did the math. It was simple and easily attainable, so I went for it. I even exceeded my goal and felt awesome going into my sale weekend.

Pursuing finishing the race of life well feels a little bit different than pursuing these types of goals. Okay, probably a lot different. We don't have that end date positively defined (though I think most of us would have a hard time living if we really knew exactly when we would die). We don't know the details of what precisely we need to have finished by that questionable ending. And at best, we have foggy ideas about what it will be like to live forever. While none of these things are crystal clear to me after pondering, studying, and talking about it all month, I do feel better prepared to keep running this race the way God desires.

The last of my four points from the beginning of April has really stuck with me this last week or so. How am I preparing to meet Jesus in my death or His resurrection? Am I simply waiting for the moment to arrive or am I actually pursuing the life I will have in eternity?

If this life really is all about glorifying God and becoming a part of His kingdom, why are we so caught up in pursuing things in this world and only waiting idly by for Jesus' return? I said in my last post that most of us think Christ will come during our lifetime but that it is statistically unlikely. Maybe, but God isn't ruled by statistics. I think we should expect Christ's return. We should want it, we should work as if it will happen any day, and freely give like our lives truly depend on His 2nd coming.

But what does it really mean to pursue these things? How do you actually live like this? Sorry, I don't have a lot of answers. I've only been thinking about it for a week, and my mind is easily distracted. One thing I do know is that we need to begin to see where our daily lives do not line up with the desire for eternity we are called to have. Hebrews says Abraham was looking forward to the city God was building, not toward the things he could gain on earth. And this phrase in the Greek is not a passive waiting or a hopeful feeling; it is an eager expectation, an active looking. Abraham was in hot pursuit of the eternal life God had for him.

I can feel the vast difference between this kind of eager expectation and the way my life is now. I don't know how to get it there, but I want to. Most of my day revolves around my family's needs, my own desires, and the expectations others have for me. But I am at least beginning to recognize when my motivations are not eternally minded, which leads me to asking God for help. Funny how all things seem to come back to this.

We need God to give us vision, hope, and desire for the eternal life we have in Him. We cannot muster up the right kind of longing or a strong enough willpower to hang our hopes in eternity, especially against all the temporary pleasure the world says is okay or even wise to pursue. The better vision we have for eternity, the easier time we will have pursuing it.

Overall though, it has been a good month for me. Thinking about the new earth, about eternity, and about where I place my hope day-to-day is humbling and can be intense, but it also lifts a tremendous burden off my heart. I feel like I can put down the hopes I have for things on the earth and trust God completely for my hopes to be met in Him, both now and even more so in eternity. This enables me to let go of the things God does not have for me right now, willingly, and sometimes even eagerly. It is totally contrary to what most people in the world will encourage you to do and I often have to shut my eyes and ears off to what others say is valuable, or worthy, or good.

In all of this, once again I have circled back to the importance of Knowing God. When we know Him, pursue understanding Him, and place our hopes in what He wants, eagerly expecting the return of Christ becomes easier, more fulfilling, and enables us to better live life. I still wrestle every day; it was incredibly hard just to sit down and write all of this out! But my discernment for what is valuable in eternity is getting better and I know it will reach into the lives of those around me too.

How will you focus on eternity? What change do you think it will have for you this week, this month, or this year?

I would encourage you to find a question you can ask yourself when you feel the pull of the world driving you nuts. With my kids, I often ask myself "What will this do to enable them to Know God better?" and if the answer is "not much" or "nothing" I try to chill out and pray for a better reaction. I am seeing that affecting their eternity is far more important than my daily, weekly, or even lifetime agenda for them. It's hard, but worth it. It makes today better and will make a difference in eternity too.

I pray God will be ever present with you, that He would open your eyes to what is valuable to Him both now and in eternity. Come back in a couple days as we press on into May, seeking to know what it means to be Called to Receive His Power. As always, feel free to comment, ask questions, or join our FB group to enter into the conversation.

That One Word Thing.

Every year I have a group of friends that is insanely dedicated to picking out and praying over one word to encompass, shape, and influence the coming year. These friends plan to cling to their word, to think over what it means, hoping to make great progress in whatever that word is. I've seen friends pick words like Faith, Bravery, Hope, or Present, and I don't doubt that these are great ideals to embrace. Still, I felt like it was a little too cheesy for my serious self.

I'm wondering if you can see where this is going. I saw more and more friends choosing their words for this year and I continued to roll my eyes. Terrible, I know. And it's just like God to suddenly put a word on my heart and get my thoughts rolling it over and over again in my mind.

I was initially resistant because I want more than to just pick a word and think about it. I want it to impact my entire year. I want to learn what it really means and how it should shape my life. And then I got a wild idea, and I'm obsessing over it like you wouldn't believe.

So to clarify, yes, I jumped on this One Word train. One morning, after being totally judgmental about someone else's word choice, I suddenly thought of the word "called" and have not been able to get it out of my mind. But I plan to do much more than think or pray over this word, though those are both valuable and important things to do. Ready for the big plan? I'm still not completely sure how this will all go down, and my plans are sure to change along the way, but as of now, here is what I am going to do.

Each month I will focus on a separate facet of what it means to be Called. Often, when we think of our "calling," it feels very vague, mysterious, clouded in wonder and hope, but always feeling a little bit out of our grasp or comprehension. We spend countless hours fantasizing over this "calling" while constantly being told that when we know exactly what "it" is we will understand our place in this world. But how does that help us live today? Should all our focus really be on finding out what this special "calling" is? Or are there other ways to figure it out without being too self-absorbed and miss out on other opportunities?

The truth is we are Called to many things. And for the most part, they are all something to do, someone to be, or something to receive. So I've picked out 12 different "callings" and I am going to hash out a new one every month. I'll give you the big reveal January 1st and then at the end of each month I'll share what I'm learning, along with some questions to help you work through this process right along with me. My hope is that during each month I will grow more and more deeply in my convictions, in my knowledge of who I am supposed to be, how I am supposed to live, and be better at trusting God with all of the circumstances of my life. Ultimately, I want to understand God better and live for Him more freely, with more reckless abandon and confident happiness. Sounds pretty lovely, right?

Here is how you can do this with me!

First off, subscribe to my monthly newsletter and you'll be reminded about the new facet of being Called we'll be working through that month. I know, maybe you already signed up for my newsletter and have only received one; that is completely my fault. Doing all this writing, tutoring, homeschooling at a new level, and Fall sports put me in a bad place, a place where only the absolutely most important things in my life got done. I'm still figuring out what gives me life and energy, and I am making better decisions about what I can or can't do. None-the-less, if you sign up for my newsletter, you WILL get to be a part of these 12 Months of Called.

Next, check in on my blog every month. If I were you, I'd even get a cheap notebook and write down some of the questions and thoughts you have along the way. I'll be sharing how I answer my own questions, but maybe God will be speaking to you in a different way, and chances are, you'll want to remember that.

Here are some of the types of questions I'll be asking:

- How does understanding this Call more deeply help me live better?
- How does knowing this Call change my life-goals?
- How does living by this Call change the way I should act?
- Is the way I am acting right this second in line with what I know?

These are healthy things to ask when you are learning anything, but I think it's especially important when it comes to understanding what we are Called to be, to do, and to receive. Calling is a lot less mysterious and far more practical than we make it out to be. I'm learning that God doesn't want to keep me in the dark about how I am supposed to live and what I am supposed to pursue, and I'm thrilled to be headed down this path of better understanding what it means to be Called.

Lastly, join our Facebook Group. I will post links to the blog posts and probably do a few giveaways too :) It will likely be the same content, but more personal interaction will be happening there.

As a little Christmas gift I will give you a hint before I wrap this up. In January, we'll explore the ultimate calling we have as Christians: to know God and enjoy Him forever. I'm convinced this doesn't just mean in eternity. Jesus brought the Kingdom to earth and we are meant to live in the enjoyment of His promises and presence here today too! From February on, we'll look at the smaller pieces under that big call, thinking through what kind of people we are called to be, how we are called to act toward others, and the different things God calls us to receive as gifts from Him. As we get going, I am convinced that all of these make a difference not just in our lives overall, but they shape individual moments in our days.

This is what I'm after; knowing God's Call in such a way that I can live with complete confidence, genuine joy, and perpetual peace.

Again, here is the link to sign up for my newsletter. I am excited to explore this with friends and sisters, with people who want to know the Lord better and are ready to seek Him out. His promises of wisdom and being found are what I will be clinging to in all of this (Deut. 4:29, Jer. 29:13, Matt. 4:7, Acts 17:27, James 1:5-8). Remember these as you pray and get ready for a New Year, and remember you are not going at it alone!

So who is with me? Feel free to ask questions in the comments, and tell me what you hope to find along this journey together. And in case you aren't excited yet, you just wait! I'm pretty sure my level of excitement is enough for at least 10 people :)

Merry Christmas, and see you January 1st!

What Do You Expect?

I've been ruminating over this concept quite a bit the last few months. And while I am by no means an expert on expectations, I hope my thinking (read: obsessing) will help you think (and not obsess) through your own expectations.

My friend Mary and I are often reminding ourselves of this: lower your expectations! Not in a negative, lazy way, but in a "life does not go as you planned" sort of way. You know, like after a long day at our homeschool group, thinking I'm going to cook a meal that takes one hour to prep, another hour to make, and 37 steps, timed just right. Nope, not going to happen. I'm far better off if I lower those expectations a bit and find contentment in ordering a Papa Murphy's Pizza.

This isn't to say there aren't times to raise the bar. When we read history lessons or the bible to our kids, we have the highest of expectations for them to listen well and hold a conversation with us about what was interesting, what they didn't like, or what questions they might have. A very admirable woman I know, who is greatly humble and insanely brave, says we should set the bar high for our children and then give them high grace. Expect our children to achieve great things, but allow them to fail without condemnation.

What I really mean by all of this is expectations can be tricky. You want to expect wonderful things, to really hope God will do something amazing each day, but at the same time, we have to expect that many of our days will not go according to plan. This means we need to be most honest, and most earnest when looking at our expectations, our plans, and our hopes. Being real about your disappointments and seeing your day as God sees it is a humble yet lovely way to begin to find peace in days gone wrong. They are still days worth living. I'll give you an example.

Maybe you've been waiting for an update on my time at SheSpeaks? Lucky you, you'll get a concise (don't mistake concise for short) version along with photos, and you'll even get to learn from my own experience about days gone wrong. Honestly, it wasn't that big of a deal, but on day two I was frustrated beyond words, beyond tears, beyond any prayer I could muster.

Travel day was ideal, pretty much perfect. I started reading this amazing book, got to see my lovely roommates for the first time in a year, and had amazing conversation long into the night. My friend Jennifer opened her soul and her pain to me with such grace and willingness... when she writes her book, you HAVE to read it.

The entire day was filled with the Holy Spirit moving, great insights I needed to hear, wonderful fellowship, and lots of catching up with people I met from last year. 

Amy Seiffert and I met last year and connected really well. I always love what she has to share!

I started getting ready for bed when the power went out. For real, the power in the hotel and a ten mile radius was out for most of the night. Thankfully our hotel had fabulous generators that kept hallways lit and one elevator running until the power came back on around 4am. I know it was about that time, because I had already been up half the night. 

This is the second time I've experienced what I believe to be extreme anxiety in my body that my heart and mind could not overcome. I prayed, I worshipped, I cried, I went to the bathroom, I couldn't lay down, but I was dying to rest. My stomach was in knots and I felt sick beyond belief. In my mind I was not nervous for the second day and felt a real peace that God was doing His work. My first publisher appointment had gone wonderfully and I was thrilled for my sessions lined up on day two. But for some reason, God has allowed my body to do this crazy thing where I don't sleep, feel like I'm dying of stomach pains and nausea, and have major responsibilities I absolutely need to deal with early the next day. It's pretty much as awesome as it sounds. 

Somehow, I was able to get up, get mostly ready, and head to the first morning session. I missed a lot of it, but I was determined to not let these opportunities pass me by. I was emotional, weak, nauseous, and did my best not to cry whenever someone asked if I was okay. Apparently, sleeping only three hours and feeling sick most of the night takes its toll on your face. I felt so lousy tears just kept spilling with every conversation, and I have no idea how I made it through the day. Friends were so gracious, so helpful, and I even had strangers come and pray for me. Truly, the best place to be sick is with other Christian women. 

I forgot to take many pictures that second day, but there were still so many highlights and wonderful things that happened; I cannot explain it all. Being in Nicki Koziarz' session and having a meaningful conversation with her might have been my favorite part of the day. Listening to Liz Curtis Higgs speak was the most entertaining, beautiful way to cap off the weekend. And getting to meet another mom who does Classical Conversations with her kiddos was the icing on the cake that took me two hours to eat (because I talk so much, in case you were wondering). 

Liz Curtis Higgs on the final night and my new friend, and fellow CC mom, Aimee Smith.

I have been blessed by this opportunity, and if you are feeling the push to make your writing or speaking endeavors a priority, I would not hesitate to tell you to get your rear here next year! The friendships, the prayer, the learning, and the personal guidance are unlike anything I've ever been involved in. Also, from all these pictures I realize I have really terrible posture. Yikes! 

So again, what does this have to do with expectations? I went to SheSpeaks planning to learn, hoping to have great publisher appointments, and expecting to get advice. I hoped to connect with old friends and make new, and maybe get to talk with some women further along the road than me. And while half of my time there was under totally different circumstances than I planned, God still provided for me all the things I hoped to encounter. 

We have to let go of our precise expectations and look for the greater work God is doing in us. Instead of hoping for particular circumstances, let's set our hope upon God moving in our lives and sanctifying us through any means necessary. Are we willing to endure what He deems good for us? Are we willing to let go of our expectations for a "good life" or a "perfect day" and enjoy what we can, while learning from anything that falls under the "less than pleasant" category? 

I definitely struggle with this in my day-to-day life at home with my kids, but when I experience the goodness that comes from moving forward in hardship, I am more dedicated to moving forward through the monotony at home. And that is when I finally begin to value the interruptions that seem random, or needless during my day. I expect detours because I expect God to work. And He shows up every day, whether I notice or not. I don't know about you, but I want to notice as much of God as possible.

So what will you expect? And what will you notice? I am thankful God continues to move in and around me, despite my unwillingness and grumpy attitude. I hope you see God working in your life and can value the circumstances that lead you to Him, pleasant or not. I know it's a challenge, but I also know it is worth every ounce of effort you are willing to give. May we see Him in it all!

Seeing Beauty, Loving Truth.

I used to find it funny when a topic or idea kept coming up over and over again in my life. I would take notice, laugh, and then move on with regular life. Lately, it seems to happen so frequently, I'm no longer surprised by it. Rather, I revel in the goodness of these "coincidences", recognizing that God is planting seeds in my heart and mind. After a few seeds have sprouted, I think about them often, talk about them with my family and friends, and usually, I share my thoughts with you. I hope they cause you to love God more and look for the ways He is speaking to you every day.

Beauty surrounds us. A lovely face or vibrant personality of someone I meet, the saturated color of a blooming dahlia, or the sounds of a little creek alongside a jogging path: I find beauty around me in more ways than I can count every day. In the fruit I wash and serve my kids for lunch. In the words carefully strung together in the books and articles I read. In the music I listen to and the movies I watch; most recently in the movie Wonder Woman.

Gal Gadot (the actress who plays Wonder Woman) is an incredibly gorgeous woman, am I right? Her beautiful bronze skin, her strong body, and her flowing locks are outmatched only by her character's fierce determination to do what is right. Her desire to give peace to the weary, injured, and helpless only magnifies the natural beauty of her earthly body. Goodness, love, and compassion exude from her character and adds to the loveliness of her created being. This is what God intends for us as well.

"Beauty is the radiance of the true and the good, and it is what attracts us to both." 

Stratford Caldecott

We love beauty because it reveals truth, and we love truth because is it beautiful. Never have I seen this come alive more than I have in the last few weeks. I've known that seeing beauty and savoring loveliness has its place in our lives, but today I have a new determination to make this important in my life. Not simply in making my home beautiful, or trying to whip my body into the ideal shape (whatever that is), but by focusing my attention on what is true and what is lovely, knowing it will reveal God no matter what specific endeavor I am currently pursuing.

I might as well add this overused, possibly considered "cliché" verse in here, because I cannot help pointing out how rooted in truth and vitally important it really is.

"Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable - if there is an excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise - think about these things."

Philippians 4:8

When we set our thoughts upon the truth, we will see beauty. When we choose to focus on beautiful, honorable, excellent things, it will lead us to truth.

"The heavens declare the glory of God, and the sky above proclaims His handiwork."

Psalm 19:1

When we see truth, when we see something amazing, when we see something worthy of honor, may we remember where it came from and where it points. It all belongs to God, and it can all lead us to Him. Yes, even Wonder Woman can declare the wonders of the Lord. Your baby, your garden, your hand-stitched blanket, and your young daughter's scribble; all point to God's loveliness and goodness. A poem exalting truth, a movie exalting honor, and a sunset proclaiming excellence: it all belongs to Him, and He can make anything beautiful.

May the goodness of your day lead you to praising the Lord, convince you of truth, and renew a willingness in your heart to live a life submitted to His good work in your life. It will be beautiful, and it will be worth the effort.