Planner Love.

Do you use a planner?

I absolutely LOVE having a physical planner to put all my schedule and to-dos in. Does it actually help me be more productive? I'm not exactly sure.

In our main living area, where the hallway opens up into the living room, I have a dry erase calendar that I update every month... usually before the first week of that month is over. I put up the kids' schedules, any meetings or other events we have going on, and all of that of stuff. Mark and I also use our iCal and put in that stuff too, but since I don't predominately use our iCal to dictate my days, I like having the dry-erase calendar where everyone can see it.

But still, I feel like I need something else to help me manage my to-dos that isn't on my phone and isn't quite as public as my wall. In college, I used to write out all of my assignments the first week we would get our syllabus in each class. I'd even write when to start a rough draft, or go to the Library to get some research done, or prep for a test. I try doing that in my yearly planners now, but life is a bit more crazy and a LOT less predictable.

Homeschooling definitely throws a wrench in things and I am not nearly as dedicated to the length of time we spend on our work as I am about the amount of content. This means when I plan for a lesson to take 30 minutes and then take a 5-10 minute transition, it doesn't often work out that way. After doing this for six years now, I have a pretty good idea about how long we'll spend on things, but it just isn't that simple.

I should say, I actually like it that way though. Sometimes the kids need more attention, sometimes they need less, and that is one of the biggest blessings our homeschooling gives us: the ability to take the time we need.

Back to the planner now. I love using stickers for certain recurring activities, like CC, CrossFit, and Jovi's gymnastics. But it can sometimes drive me crazy to have something changed and I have to either rip out my sticker, or just cross it out, or even worse, leave it there when we're not going to do it! Haha! I'm thinking I might invest in some erasable pens and use them exclusively for my planner. I'm always looking for a good excuse to buy more pens anyway :)

All this to say, I just got my planner for 2019 today and I'm excited to fill it in while also trying to remind myself that is it okay if plans change. I am trying to remember that planning my year will help me be more flexible with change, as I will know better what lies ahead and what I'm responsible for. I still went with an Erin Condren planner, but the hardbound one with a little less bulk. We'll see how it goes!

Do you plan your year? And how? I'd love to hear what kind of planner/system you use!

Called to Live for Him.

What does it really mean to live for Christ? For your life to no longer be your own, but God's?

I think hashing out this question is something people work on their entire lives, so I hope you won't expect to come away with a clean, organized list of things you can hop to right away and have "living for Christ" all figured out. But, I hope you do leave this post encouraged, ready to look at your daily life with a renewed perspective, realizing that hope for eternity is something you can focus on to give you endurance.

I don't think the bible is unclear about this in any way; we are Called to live for God. Even in the Old Testament, God's Call to His people over and over to seek Him, to live not for the things the world offers, but for the things He loves. This overarching Call included things like obedience, service, sacrifice, and more. But this same Call continues today. To live for God doesn't include all the same things the Old Testament (the old covenant) required, like animal sacrifices and diet restrictions, but the goal is the same: to have fellowship with God.

The whole reason we needed the old covenant was because of our human condition. We were slaves to sin and left to ourselves, with no way to come into the presence of God. Now that Christ has given His own life to pay for our sins, we cannot continue living the same way as before. We aren't saved from our sin so we can then go along our merry way. It's a completely different life that we should have.

The bible describes this difference as being dead or alive. In our sins, we were dead. Not just destined to die, or mostly dead, but completely unable to come alive and know God. We were totally incapable of putting into our lives the kind of goodness that He gives us. We see it in Colossians 2:13 and Ephesians 2:1-7. And Paul, who authored both these books of the bible, says again in Romans 6 that because we were dead before, we now need to leave the deadness we were enslaved to. In verse 11 he says "So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus."

Being alive in Christ means fighting sin, knowing that we don't have to submit to it, and then choosing to live for God instead.

Living for ourselves naturally leads us into sin. When my thought-life is full of my own ambitions, or consumed with what I am not getting, I am constantly on edge. I snap easier, I do selfish things without thinking, and I usually use my time in ways I later regret (hello Pinterest and Facebook). However, when I am living for God, I am no longer consumed with meeting my own needs. Instead, I look for what God would have me do and He helps me grow to love it.

Photo by Juliane Liebermann

Living for God doesn't mean you have to have a certain type of job or a particular type of lifestyle. It's more about how you look at your job, about how you look at your life. Instead of constantly looking at what you can do to make things better for yourself, you look at what you are already doing and how it can be done for God. It means you find your motivation not from looking to your future here on earth, but to the future we have in eternity with God.

Colossians 3:1-4 is such a perfect description of the perspective we need to have. When we come to know Jesus, when we accept the Call to be part of God's kingdom, we are raised from the dead and into Christ. Any life we hope to find is in Him alone. It is only seen dimly right now (1 Cor. 13:12) but when Christ appears, we will appear with Him in glory. So as Colossians 3:1 says, we have to seek the things that are above, since that is where Christ is. That's the only place we will find anything of lasting value. It's what we need to pursue.

In order to do that, we will have to lose the life we hope to build here. I'm not saying give up trying to do anything with excellence, or get rid of any nice thing you own, but we need to be honest with the ways we are pursuing the world and our own selfish fulfillment instead of pursuing God.

Jesus makes it very clear in every gospel, in multiple chapters: you will need to lose your life in order to find life in Christ. He says this Matthew 10 and 16, Mark 8, Luke 9 and 17, and John 12. In paraphrase, Jesus says that whoever seeks to keep their life will lose it, and whoever will lose their life for Him will save it.

So, are you currently losing or saving the life you have? Are you investing in the life you'll lose when you die, or in the one you will gain when you meet Jesus?

These are hard questions to answer. I can't say that I am doing this right all the time. I'm constantly confronted with how much of my time is spent on me, or how many of my frustrations are because I want my own way.

As I've thought through all of this during this past month, I have tried to ask myself these questions:


What is the root of my frustration? Myself or others?

What do I hope to accomplish right now? Something for myself or something God desires?

What are my thoughts focused on? My own benefit or God's?


It became pretty obvious that most of my unhappiness stems from my own desire to have a good life here on earth. When I'm upset with my kids, it's generally because I have an idea of how they should be. When I'm frustrated with my circumstances (traffic, bad hair day, giant zit on my chin), it's almost always because I think things should be different, more convenient for my schedule, or work together to make me look good. When I am annoyed with my husband, my friends, or pretty much anyone else I interact with, it's frequently due to my idea that I should be having things my way.

But a life lived for God... that's obviously different. When I am seeking to live out God's will through me, it changes my reactions.

When my kids do something wrong, I ask God how I should deal with it or what He wants to do through it.

When I'm stuck in traffic, I tell myself that God knows and that the details will all be worked out just fine.

When my husband does something I don't like or a friend doesn't invite me into their life, I can take hold of God's perspective and seek to love them despite my feelings and no matter their actions.

This road of living for Him is not easy, but He will help us do it. It will include sacrifice, sanctification, and probably some suffering too. But it's an eternal investment. The more we see the things we want on earth and their limited ability to bring us anything valuable, the easier it will be to lay them down and seek after God's eternal treasures. The more I sought to give what I have to others - including my money, my time, my energies, my gifts - the more I loved living my life!

This is an amazing aspect of living for God: He gives us greater joy now and greater rewards in eternity.

If this feels too challenging, too overwhelming, or not tangible enough for you to embrace right where you are, take a deep breath and relax. It's not an all-or-nothing type of endeavor. Here are a few tips that have helped me.

- When I am doing something boring, mundane, or challenging, something that I really would rather not do, I simply tell myself "This is for God, not me."

- When I get up in the morning, feeling less than enthusiastic about the day, I tell myself "God has something I can do today, and it will be worth my effort."

- When I am annoyed at all the people around me, I say to myself "God can love other people through me, and it is worth the effort."

Overall, the best tool we have for fighting the "right now" mentality that keeps us from living for God is preaching to ourselves. We must point our eyes to Jesus. Remind yourself that God is here, God can fill you, God can enable you to live exactly how He desires. Tell your soul that it is worth it, that even when you fail you will have new mercies to cling to, and that God really will direct you as you choose to step into action.

Give yourself grace. Be open to seeing God in your circumstances. And like I'm finding in all of these calls, everything becomes easier (and honestly, only actually doable) when we look to Jesus's example, rely on the Holy Spirit's power, and submit to God's eternal promises.

I hope God instills in you the desire to live for Him. I cannot convince you that it will be worthwhile, but I know you will find this to be true once you start taking these steps. I'd love to hear how it goes for you! Please consider joining my Called Facebook group and interacting with a bunch of us over there. This journey is always better with more friends to walk beside. You will find more riches here on earth and much more in eternity with a simple willingness to start working with God instead of trying to convince Him to work with you. Are you in?

Called to Work.

I hope it's no surprise to you that you are Called to Work. The idea that working hard at something came as a result of the fall used to be more commonplace than it is now, but we still live in that world a little bit. We still think hard work is a negative. We assume that we have it made if we have to work less, or if our work is not too challenging.

Difficult work comes in many forms. There is work that is physically hard and work that is mentally hard. Some jobs take a severe emotional toll on a person and others insight an ungodly amount of stress. And while all jobs probably have some aspect to them that is hard, most jobs still have a root of goodness in them. And most of the jobs you readers likely have can be used to glorify God.

Working was something God ordained, after all. He gave Adam dominion and authority over all the animals on the earth and commanded him and Eve to be fruitful, multiply, and subdue the earth. That phrase "to subdue it" in Hebrew means to bring into subjection, or to bring into bondage. The earth was theirs to control, to maintain, and can you imagine what a job that would be? Genesis 2:15 says that after God created Adam He put him in the garden to work it and keep it. The first job in history!

It's easy to get caught up in thinking about which specific job we are called to and which jobs have a more honorable, holy calling. That is not only a false way to segregate work, but it is a dangerous route and often leads to procrastination, inaction, and judgement between believers. I've mentioned a few times during this series my goal of encouraging people to take their eyes off big life choices like where to live, what job to take, who to marry, etc., and instead focus on what the bible specifically calls us to. And working is just another one of those things.

It is true that some jobs are simply necessary, and not usually very glamorous, but they just need to be done. Pumping gas, doing laundry, cleaning toilets, cooking food: they have the likelihood of being simple, boring, easy, and monotonous. But what happens when no one does them? These types of jobs bless others in pivotal ways even though they are not highly-esteemed or sought-after positions. However, as a Christian, we can choose to do these jobs and infuse them with the joy of the Lord, which makes an incalculable difference in the lives of others.

Let's look at what the bible says about work. Here are a few verses that give us some good information...

"For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." Ephesians 2:10

"But if anyone does not provide for this relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever." 1 Timothy 5:8

"But we urge you, brothers, to do this more and more, and to aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you, so that you may walk properly before outsiders and be dependent on no one." 1 Thessalonians 4:10b-12

"Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need." Ephesians 4:28

"In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in Heaven." Matthew 5:16

Some of these verses talk about working as in earning an income, or having a job. Others speak to actions that seem unassociated with money, like acts of kindness or service. I assure you, they all fall under the same umbrella. Why? Because money should not change the way we act toward others. It shouldn't change our disposition, our eagerness to do well, or our willingness to work without complaining. Money is simply a tool to use but it is the actual work we do that has a purpose.

What is that purpose? I see two things popping out from these scriptures, but the second idea supports the first.

1- to glorify God and show His goodness to others

2- to provide for the needs of others

When we work with happy hearts, as unto Christ, we demonstrate the goodness of God to unbelievers. They see us doing good for others and can see the reality of God! Without these works, we are just another person spouting off what we think is true or right. But with these works, people actually experience God. Genuine faith in God requires that we take action, as James talks about in James 2:14-26. Not only does our action show God to others, it reveals what we truly believe in our hearts.

Providing for the needs of others is the other main point of working that I see in all these verses. James also talks about this in the same passage referenced above, primarily that if we are only saying nice things to those who are suffering and simply offering prayer for others without any actual action, our faith is not real. He basically says that if we believe in God's gift of Jesus Christ, it will move us to action, to doing good works unto others. Paul emphasizes this in several of his epistles too. The thief ought to work not just so he won't steal, but so that he can give. The husband or leader of the home works to provide for those in his care, and in Titus 3:8 he says that the people in the church ought to devote themselves to good works for the benefit of other people.

It's really easy to look at our jobs (if you have one) and see how it benefits your family. But it's a lot harder to look at your entire day, week, year, or life and wonder if you are truly committing yourself to the kind of work God would have you do. Not in your career necessarily, but in your day-to-day actions. How devoted are you to working on behalf of your unbelieving neighbor? How committed are you to making life easier or better for your spouse or children? How likely are you to work with or without pay so that the unbelieving around you would see God in your sacrifice?

These are direct, pointed questions, and you should expect them to make you wiggle a bit in your chair (don't worry, they make me squirm too). I tend to be stingy with my time and my kids are rather demanding with much of my time, so every day I feel like I am constantly evaluating and navigating this type of question and response routine. It's hard to give so much of yourself, with or without pay. It's hard to make all of your work about something other that you!

But really, our entire existence is about far more than ourselves. When we deny it, we are living a lie. When we think our work is for us, for our personal gratification or benefit, we are trying to grasp and hang on to what God meant to be given to others. Don't get me wrong, there is often deep personal satisfaction in doing our job well and feeling like we were made for it, but we were made for God's work, not our own. When our work is glorifying to God, and for the benefit of others, and when we are happy to have it be so, we gain a peace that cannot be compromised. Don't you want that? I know I do! A peace that interruptions, disappointment, sorrow, and pain cannot take away... that's what Jesus offers. And when our work is centered on Jesus' work, on the goodness it does for others and the testimony it is for God, our work becomes fulfilling and life-giving.

So, what does that mean for my habits and routines this month? I'm not totally sure yet (what's new)! I am going to be participating in a blog-hop series with some writer friends revolving around the word Calm next week, so be looking for that. I hope to post some more though-provoking questions in the 12 Months of Called Facebook group I've set up and I hope that will bless your thought-life, your intentions, and your actual work. I have a lot of other books to catch up on so I think I will just work through those and see what comes from all of it.

The one thing I know I will do is fight discouragement with these two purposes in my work. If I know it helps others and I know it can glorify God, I will tell myself it matters and will fight to do it with joy. I'm sure this will put a target on my back, but I feel like I am at a turning point in my life where I need to combat the lies that make me feel fruitless and wasteful in what I do. I think we can all stand to question what we are pursuing and ask God whether it is glorifying to Him and others-minded. If it is, we can take a firm stand in knowing that our selfless living is more than worth it. Are you going to stand with me? Are you willing to give, to work, to sacrifice and strive for God and others?

Let's be renewed every day in this choice we are making. Be sure to join the Facebook group to get your free phone wallpaper to remind you of this beautiful, challenging, important endeavor. God is with you, and so am I.

Called to Prepare.

When I hear the word prepare, the first thing I think of is preparing for the worst. I do it all the time. Whether it's taking everything I might possibly need in case of a disaster with me to Target or mentally striving to be ready for whatever may come my way in a social setting, I like to be prepared. Usually, I am extremely over prepared, which I'm not sure always gives off the best impression, but what can you do? I love to be prepared. And that's one reason why I am excited for this month's calling!

This month's theme was already decided back in December, and I found it particularly interesting that on Easter, April 1st, I would be intentionally thinking about and decidedly preparing for Jesus' return. Did I actually do this all day? Eh, not so much. I did a lot of thinking and wrestling with my own heart, which often has good results and is needed, but I went to bed frustrated. Actually, I feel like I go to bed most nights frustrated with my accomplishments and not especially looking forward to the next day. And I have several theories about why this is, but a large part of my discontent seems to rise from the frustrating dichotomy I sense in my heart. 

I want a good life now. I want all the rewards I can gain in eternity. But can I truly live out both of these desires? Can I pursue my dreams and pursue the selfless life Jesus calls me to? And here's the big one: am I willing to lay down anything God asks me to and happily go after His plans? 

These types of questions often feel really vague. What is God really calling me to? What does that mean for what I do today? That is why I am working through this series. I want all of us to grasp the idea that God doesn't usually just up and give you a precise mission, clear as day. He walks us through situations where our obedience will lead us to the next step along His path for us. That's why Knowing Him, Obeying Him, and Receiving His Mind are such important first steps. And it nicely leads us to this month's Call: to prepare for Christ's return. 

As of now, most of my daily life does not revolve around Jesus' return. I don't browse Facebook as a result of seeking to be ready for Jesus to come from the clouds. I don't obsess over my hair or clothing or makeup because of any eternal value they have. I don't arrange my errands or my to-dos based on the chance that Jesus might call an end to this earth. And it all makes me think I should be considering that end result more often, more seriously.

In this call to prepare for Jesus to come again, there are a few specific tasks in the bible that keep popping up. One of them links really well with something my oldest son said today that really touched my heart. I asked him if he knew this was his last day on earth, what would he do. He immediately responded with "I would say something nice to everyone I see." I thought it was so sweet, his care and concern for other people, his last chance to leave a mark on this world. And this is also what the bible tells us to do. 

Task #1 - encourage one another

Because we do not know the hour of His return, we ought to encourage one another. Not just in whatever random pursuits they are chasing, but in being sober-minded and keeping our faith, love and hope secure in eternity, not in the enjoyment of sin, of this decaying earth, or of the pleasures of the world and culture. 

Another part of this preparation is being blameless. Not never sinning, but always striving to keep from sin and to repent as soon as we see our waywardness.

Task #2 - pursue being blameless, seek sanctification

In 1 Thessalonians Paul talks much about the end goal, about what he is hoping for at the return of Jesus. He even says that his glory will be in boasting of the Thessalonians at Jesus' coming. Paul says he hopes and prays for them to grow in love for one another so that their hearts would be established, blameless in holiness on that last day (1 These 3:11-13). In chapter 4 he says the will of God is their sanctification. In much of 1 Peter we also catch phrases about "being holy" and being sober-minded since the end is at hand. It glorifies God when we are active participants in the sanctifying work He is doing in our lives. We ought to strive toward it, as Paul says in Philippians 3, trusting that it is God's work making us holy and continue looking forward to the day when we will finally be perfect with Him. 

Another idea that stands out to me about trying to prepare for Christ's return is the work of actively doing what will lead to a reward in heaven. 

Task #3 - store up heavenly rewards

In Matthew 6 Jesus tells us to lay up treasure in Heaven, for where our treasure is, so our heart will be. So our works, our efforts of gaining for ourselves, ought to be directed toward what we will gain in eternity. If we know what will lead to eternal rewards, and can do that (even if we prefer something with a more immediate reward) I believe it will lead our hearts into desiring eternity with God the way we should, the way God wants us to. And the more we love and long for Heaven, the easier it will be to live a holy life, a life that blesses others, and a life that builds eternal riches. 

Lastly, I can't help but think about death in all of this. In all likelihood, I will face death before Jesus comes. We probably all like to think that He will come during our lifetime (myself included) but recently I feel like I cannot escape the reality of the fragility of life. I keep finding myself thinking "Am I ready to die?" Not in a morbid way (at least I don't think so) but in a way that looks at how I would be leaving my family and friends behind, wondering if I really gave them all I could have. I wonder if I honestly gave my all to Jesus' work or if I just dabbled in obeying when it seemed interesting or beneficial for me. This leads me to the last task.

Task #4 - be ready to leave the world behind

Francis Chan talks a little bit about this in his book about marriage: You and Me Forever. If we fear leaving the world behind, do we really trust God about how much more incredible and awesome it will be to be in His presence? I want to be excited to leave this world, not scared or dreading it. We need to believe that the best is yet to come. Being done with our flesh is the ultimate gift, the end that is guaranteed to happen. It should not cause us to want to end this life, but to work hard for the sake of Jesus. I do not do enough to prepare for my end on earth, but I want to embrace it with joy. I want to mean it like Paul does when he says "to die is gain." 

What does this all mean for my month? Well, I am aiming to ask myself about these four tasks when I am struggling with my heart, with my time management, or with my responses to life's demands. 

Does this bless and encourage the people around me?

Does this lead to my sanctification?

Does this have eternal value?

Will I be glad to leave it all behind?

Obviously, we can't always know the eternal value of our actions. But we can definitely see when there is none. Like my endless scrolling on Facebook instead of cleaning my home or investing in my children... it's pretty obvious which options have greater value. 

In my mind, preparing for Christ's return is all about remembering what is important. When we know and value the things that are eternal, it will lead us down a path that is just plain better. Better for others, better for our hearts, better for our eternity. In all our preparation, we will be getting our eyes off ourselves and onto Christ. I'm amazed at how easy it is to start thinking about myself and completely forget to consider what God is doing, or how He would have me respond. But intentionally turning my mind and heart to His eternal plan does wonders for my mind, body, and soul.

Are you ready? Are you willing? Are you scared? Don't be :) God only has the good end in mind. Any hardship or tragedy that comes along your path is not in vain. It is used by Him and will be redeemed. Like Paul says in Philippians 3:8-9

"Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For His sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith."

We should not strive to be justified by our works, but our faith in Jesus' work of justification should lead us to serving Him wholeheartedly, being prepared and eager for His return.

My prayer for you this month is that you are strengthened in your heart and in your convictions. That you have confidence in what you do, knowing that you are truly pursuing an eternal reward instead of a pleasure-filled life on earth. I know this will bring us greater peace and make a greater impact on His kingdom. Double-win!

Don't forget to add yourself to our Facebook group for some freebies, discussion, and sometimes some live videos too. I'm so thankful to be on this journey with you! 

Learning to Know God.

What a month it has been!

Usually January just flies by but for some reason this year the moments feel like they have had their proper time, like they have been savored just enough. Not too much, not too little.

As I was striving to understand what it means to know God I kept feeling like there was not enough time for me to truly know Him the way I was hoping and also figure out how to best share it with all of you. I am still working, praying, and endlessly hashing it all out in an attempt to summarize well what I have learned.

One thing is sure, it has been far different from what I expected to learn. Yet, as I approach the end of this month, I wish I could have learned even more. And it brings me joy and peace to consider that there will never be enough time to know God to the extent our hearts long while living here on earth. What an amazing blessing that God has written eternity on our hearts in smalls ways like this.

I did not learn near as many specific attributes or "facts" about God as I originally expected. Things like how He is kind, gracious, compassionate... we hear those types of lists a lot so I just assumed I'd be learning about all that. Not so much.

Most of what I have learned is about how our approach to God changes how we interact with and relate to Him. I'm not sure if it changes how He reacts to us but it seems as though the more I open myself to seeing God work around me, the more He works. Maybe we just don't notice it or attribute many of the seemingly small things to Him, but we gain an incredible amount of refreshment and confidence from God when we correctly ascribe the small events in our lives that are God-ordained, God-blessed, or God-influened to Him. The difference it makes in my ability to function well amid chaos is unreal.

What has really stuck with me is that knowing God should have a incredibly high value in my life. It's everywhere in scripture. When I started plotting this blog series I had no idea how prevalent the emphasis on knowing God was in the Bible. I figured it was important because you have to know Him to follow Him. And that is true, but there are a lot of other things that come from our knowing God.

In Philippians Paul says that all the other things he could boast about in his life he counts as junk, garbage, dung (!) compared to knowing Christ. In Colossians, Paul rejoices in his afflictions because making God known is his primary endeavor, his life goal. He says that our hope of glory is in this very thing. At the beginning of Colossians 2 he wants the believers "to reach all the riches of full assurance of understanding and the knowledge of God's mystery, which is Christ." Paul even says the hidden treasures of wisdom and knowledge are found in Him.

As Paul continues through the book, he explains that in order to progress in this endeavor of knowing Christ and setting our minds on eternity, we must intentionally kill and put away the sin in our lives. He says that as we put on the new self we will be renewed in the knowledge of our creator and will put on His loving attributes instead. And friend, this message is everywhere in the bible: in order to know God we must start living His way. The doing is the proof of our knowing.

The bible says it over and over again. Knowing God, believing in Christ and receiving the Holy Spirit will produce righteousness in our lives. If you think you are in this camp of knowing God but are not seeing the fruit of growing in righteousness, you need to have a hard look. You have to choose. Are you going to observe the knowledge of God from afar or are you going to let it move you to start walking?

1 John 2:3 says "And by this we know that we have come to know Him, if we keep His commandments."

John knew Jesus better than any earthly person. He rightly saw that knowing God, knowing Christ, and knowing the Holy Spirit will lead us to an obedience we cannot muster on our own. It changes you forever. God yearns for us to know Him. He wants us to seek Him and promises that when we do, He will be found by us (Jeremiah 29:13, Matthew 7:7-11). In Jeremiah 9 the LORD Himself tells Jeremiah that we ought to boast in nothing but the fact that we understand and know Him. Specifically, that He is the God who practices steadfast love, justice, and righteousness in the earth.

Do we know that about God? Are we seeking to know that about Him?

This month I am learning to seek God in all I do. Well, as often as I can remember. I aim to be willing to hear His voice and submit to what He desires. Submitting has to be our next step. If I amass knowledge about God, more than anyone has ever known, but I am unwilling to start walking down the road He desires to lead me on, it is utterly worthless. Literally, worth less than poop. It will not gain for me eternal hope. It will not give me peace, blessing, help in times of trouble, or help me experience God's glory. And if it isn't going to give me that, what is the point? There is no reason to know about God unless you are willing to start following Him.

So what have I changed because of all this? For one, I am working on knowing the Word better. Spending more time in it, intentionally studying it, memorizing it, and seeking to understand it. The more I know from my bible, the more God's Holy Spirit can bring to remembrance.

The other thing I am doing intentionally is asking God to chime in. Instead of trying to work out problems or challenges alone, in my own head, I ask for His guidance and then trust the thoughts I think. Instead of feeling insecure about a situation, I ask God what He desires of me and then follow through with what comes next. Today, it was texting a person I was feeling insecure about. Today, it was also taking feedback sincerely when my natural response would have been to brush it off or let it bother me hours or days later.

God wants us to know Him. He wants to be involved in our days. He already is, but we miss out on so many tremendous opportunities to walk with Him and to follow His guidance when we rely too heavily on ourselves or on the wisdom we think we possess. We need His input in order to navigate life according to His will. Am I hearing audible voices? No, definitely not. Am I going against the bible and doing whatever I think all the time? Of course not. But I am trusting God's active speaking into my heart and into my thoughts, trusting that He knows my thoughts and sifts my desires.

Will you try it? Will you ask God to show His will in difficult moments? Will you follow the good path He lays out for you? Will you do what is good and right in order to experience Him?

As I move further into knowing God I want to express this last thought. I do not think it is possible to travel down the path of obedience to God and regret it. Anything He asks us to do is for our good, for His glory, and for an eternal benefit. Just in the last few weeks I have seen a tremendous difference in my heart and mind by actively pursuing God's input and intentionally doing the right and good things He places before me. He created us to walk paths of righteousness. They are blessings our souls crave. Despite the humility required, despite putting down our agenda and following His instead, the greatest riches and joys we can imagine lay along that road of obedience.

You have one more week before I talk about our next theme in being Called by God. And surprise, only God could have so perfectly orchestrated this agenda. You'll never guess what I had planned: Called to Submit to His Will. Funny, right? It may not seem like a particularly fun month to navigate, but after the experience I've had this month with learning what it means to pursue knowing God, I completely trust that there are jewels for all of us in investigating this more. Not just from the outside, or from a balcony above a well-traveled road, but from deliberately walking this path. And doing it together blesses all of us even more.

Thanks for hanging in to the end of this long post. May God bless your pursuit of knowing Him and may you find the strength and courage you need to boldly trust His leading in your life.



 ~ If you are not already in our 12 Months of Called Facebook group and want to get in on free downloads, live videos, and more interaction with other people following this series, join here!

Struggle-Town

Perhaps you've noticed my absence. The pessimist in me says probably not, but I'm trying to choke down that pesky voice.

In all my homeschooling years, this September has been the most difficult by far. I know, it's October, but I'm back-tracking just a bit. There are probably at least 20 reasons why last month was so challenging: football practice for Asher three days a week, soccer practice for Cole two days a week, tutoring Essentials (and learning everything from Essentials for the first time ever), teaching Asher through Essentials for the first time, Jovi being in CC for the first time, and trying to write a book/book proposal at the same time are the large chunk of it.

I don't see myself as a positive person really, but some people might say I am good at looking at the bright side of things. I think it comes more from my ability to look at what's wrong and then come up with a great solution. So in reality, it starts with looking at fault and discord, then it morphs into improvement, which often looks to others like a lovely spin on difficulties. But this month, and last month, there is so much to do, so much always left undone, and more ambition than I can wrestle, that I am striving incredibly hard to stay afloat and still smile. No matter what solution I try to come up with to "fix" it all, nothing gets fixed. It has been extremely challenging to not quit everything and it's still really hard to not give up.

Many of the women in my circle of ambition are SAHMs (Stay At Home Moms) too, but most of them have their children in school full time. Other moms who are homeschooling along with me don't have the same nagging drive for working outside the home or other business-like endeavors. Then the moms who do, and are prominent or successful, seem to have husbands whose jobs are more flexible, or who even work together on their same, thriving business. I know, I know, I'm sure I'm not the only mom wearing these shoes, but I often feel very alone in this journey, and much of the time, left without options for getting everything done. This is part of why I started this blog. Many of us desperately need to hear from ordinary, struggling homeschool moms.

As I try to make progress on my book proposal I am pretty much failing at doing exactly what I am encouraging other moms to do. Find your security in Christ, find your identity in God's purposes, find your strength in Jesus, find your confidence in the Holy Spirit's work, and find your reason for serving others in the fact that God is eternally serving and loving all of us: I say these things, and I know they are true, but they are not bringing me the help I wish they would.

During my eight-week-absence here, I've been attempting to learn to live. Not just staying alive and getting stuff done (which I really am not), but to actually want to do all the things my daily life requires. To say I don't struggle with depression would be a lie, but its spotty appearances, and its sudden disappearance every time I have more than four hours to myself, leave me working through this without the pursuit of professional help (for now). I really want to just have someone fix me and make me "normal." But for me, as of right now, I know there are things I need to deal with. It's harder than I realized to admit that I don't need or want Christ the way I should, the way I know is right, the way I know would be best.

I am fairly confident surrender is the answer, though I haven't yet fully embraced it. When I am completely, happily surrendered to God's will for my day, my mental check-list will not cause me to despair. When I totally trust that God's tasks for me are the absolute best, I will not feel guilty over other chores that are still undone. When I know for certain that the path I am on is 100% the best for us right now, I will not waver and waste a million hours fretting over if I can do, or should do something else. I have spent too much time striving and not enough time surrendering. And since it sucks so much to admit this, I am being ridiculous and just doing it publicly.

Somehow, there is a lot of satisfaction in bringing all this to light. Admitting struggle, confessing inability, coming to terms with my sin and my poor reactions that lead me away from peace; these are all impossible to do without God and still difficult to surrender to.

If you are in a hard spot like me, quit striving to make it all work out. Admit that it's hard, it's messy, and maybe even nearly impossible. Confess that you want to make it work but know only God can light that path for you. Find a way to bring these thoughts and fears to light. Whether that's talking about it with your spouse, with a good friend, a parent or your kids: it all needs to come into the light if you want it to stop messing with your head.

If you have friends in this hard spot, stop telling them to just quit. Yes, there is a time when you have too much on your plate. My dear homeschool mom friend told me several weeks ago that I had to stop going to every single one of my boys' practices. She graciously said I was doing enough for them, but that my 10+ hours each week of sitting outside to watch them throw, catch, dribble, and kick a ball was not actually helping them or the rest of my family. She was totally right! And this kind of advice is not what I'm talking about. If you're friend is so burdened by everything she wants to do but is not doing, telling her to stop wanting the deep burdens in her heart will not help.

We need to give life to one another, to water tender and breaking hearts with the refreshment Jesus gives. The mom who is doing too much might need told to stop. But the mom in despair with all the good she is trying to sow into the lives of others needs to be told it is worth it, even when it messes up other parts of life (like clean floors, folded laundry, or homemade meals every day of the week). God plants those seeds of desire in our hearts and He will always make a way for those callings, especially when it is a genuine investment in others. We need to stop driving each other from these things. We need to encourage one another into them.

Homeschooling or not, we need to be cultivating one another into the hard work of loving God first, and loving others as much as we love ourselves. It will be a sacrifice. It will often mean getting less for yourself. This is not a loss. Eternity is the main goal here, not blissful, momentary satisfaction with life on earth. Peace will follow surrender, and joy comes in knowing we are working towards the heavenly goals of God. I'm not saying don't take time to enjoy the blessings God gives on earth, but don't set your hearts upon them. When I can forget the goals I've selfishly established for my life here on earth and focus instead on what I want for eternity, surrendering to God's plan is foolishly simple. Not easy, but simple, and totally, completely, 100% of the time WORTH IT.

Please remember these things:

You are not the only person struggling. You can do this hard work. God will fill you up. Jesus will lead your decisions. The Holy Spirit will give you peace. Seek Him first. Don't think about what you weren't able to do but be confident in the work your are doing. Sow those good seeds over, and over, and over again. There are many women out there sowing in doubt, but we are blessed to be confident in this thing: "that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Jesus Christ." (Phil. 1:6)

God has got this. He's got you, and you'll be okay.


* If you are struggling with depression and it is interfering in your life in harmful, drastic ways, please don't try to will yourself from it. Medical depression and the struggle to enjoy life are complicated issues, and when it doubt, seek help!

Daily Staples of Love.

I feel like I have done a lot of growing up this previous year. Not just learning a few life lessons here and there, or because of all the intentional studying I've done, or that I've simply become more knowledgeable about life in general. But I truly feel as if I am finally gaining some wisdom about how to live a good life and I am working hard, begging God to make these new habits a part of who I am, the way I naturally live.

Several books I have read this summer, or am currently reading, have contributed to this growth tremendously. And while watering my potted plants out back the other day, a lot of these separate ideas and random thoughts were connecting in my mind. I recently read something totally unrelated that connected well with these ideas I've been wanting to share with you and I hope they encourage your heart and bring you peace.

I'm sure you're all familiar with Aesop's fable The Tortoise and the Hare. The unlikely candidate wins the race (don't worry, I'm not talking any politics in this post) and the fastest, most able, most likely candidate loses. And what was the determining factor? Was his mindset to blame, or his actions? Which came first, the chicken or the egg? If his mindset was different, surely his actions would have been different as well, you think?

I'm seeing what an impact our thought-life has on our actions. This is not just popular psychology  either, the bible talks about it too! See Romans 8:5-6 and 12:2, 2 Corinthians 10:5.

Just like the hare, it's easy to let what we think is going on around us dictate our choices, instead of letting what we know is right and good determine what we do.

This is giving me more reason to pause and consider what I'm doing, how I'm reacting, and what I am dwelling on more throughout the day. Our thoughts shape our physical minds and that should cause us to take what we think more seriously. What we think about ourselves, the God we serve, the family we love, and the life we live hugely impacts the actions we take throughout the day and throughout our lives. Not just the major, life-altering decisions, but the little choices that pile up. They carve the path we travel and cumulatively create the life we live.

Being a homeschooler, I have tried to make my home a haven for my family. We are here a lot, and I want it to be peaceful, relatively tidy, and a period of life my kids will look back on with fondness. I should say now, I am not naturally gifted in this, and I don't feel like I do a great job. Since our move to this new house, I've been trying to be more intentional about it, but it so easily slips my mind. I can definitely see when my kids are more on edge because of my mood, but I'm not very good at those small daily habits of keeping my attitude in check or keeping my reactions from getting out of hand. I forget that cleaning the whole house at once is miserable, as is dealing with a ton of negative emotions in one sitting (read: sob-fest), but if I can just do a little of the work every day, both emotionally and physically in my home, it will feel less overwhelming to tackle and navigate.

As I was watering some plants the other day, some of these thoughts and pieces came together. Watering the plants out back was originally Asher's chore, but he has not taken to it as well as I hoped, and I've often been too distracted or too tired to remember to remind him to do it. So, on random mornings, I'll go out there by myself and gain a few moments of solitude. These plants, they are not doing so well. Some are dying, a few are totally dead, and some will get to looking very wilty then perk back up again after a few continuous days of watering. All of these plants need more than just a big soaking here and there. They need a bit of water every day. The same goes for so many things in life for us.

This is one of my more regularly watered plants... it's less green than when I got it, but surviving better than the plants outside. 

My kids need more than just an intense season of schoolwork, a few deep conversations about God, or random spurts of love and affection from me. It is the small, daily actions that add up to the life of abundant peace and joy I so desperately want for my kids. 

My kids need a regular diet of hearing God's word, of receiving affection from me, of having their minds stimulated by truth and beauty. And in regards to enjoying life and having lots of opportunity, sometimes the big, huge thing we think will be memorable for a lifetime turns out to be a big flop. For me, it's the little things my parents did that I remember most fondly, habits of spending time with us, or just enjoying being together.

This has been a comforting revelation for me, as we are not big vacationers and don't do any camping, and as my summer has been a bit more "me-centered" than I intended. The guilt over not giving my children what I see other moms giving theirs has been hard for me to navigate. One lifestyle does not fit all families, and I know what my kids need better than anyone else, but it's hard to fight feeling like I could be doing more for them. And while yes, a vacation to Disneyland sounds like a blast, it is not what will make my children's lives wonderful. More importantly, my daily attitude and interactions with them is what will enable them to get the most out of life.

It will never be the rare, extravagant vacations or sparse, exotic experiences that determine the outcome of their hearts and lives.

If you struggle with feeling let down after big plans have been made or large events have been thrown, or if you have a hard time figuring out what to do to make your home more life-giving, don't think that a magnificent vacation or elaborate birthday party will make everything magically wonderful. Those are blips of fun and excitement thrown in, not the foundation of your lives together. It is the daily grind that will either grind you down or polish you up. It is the moment-by-moment interactions with your children that will shape how they see themselves and how they see the world around them.

I do want to talk more about little habits and tricks you can implement, just small things to help you see how easy it can be to get your mind into a better space, but that will have to wait for another day. The big task I am working on right now is making my daily reactions to the kids better. Instead of being frustrated with the continual questions, I am setting clearer boundaries (with explanations) for them, then giving them my full attention when it is needed and appropriate. Instead of being in a huff about having to help my four-year-old with something, I try to act like I am glad to serve her (because really, I should be happy to help) and make sure I actually see her, acknowledge her, and notice something I love about her during those small moments.

These little tasks might seem silly or inconsequential, but it is building a habit of appreciating my children and teaching them how to love and live with other people. It's taking actions I know are good and beneficial and putting them into my life intentionally. I want to naturally enjoy chatting with my kids, but if I only do this when it's convenient for me, my kids will pick up on this and no longer strive for my attention.

Overall, I am learning that these small habits, the little ways I act, and the little ways I react to others, make a large, long-term impact. Sadly, I'm not usually very impressed by my own actions or reactions, and I definitely need God's help in aligning my life with the way He wants me to live. Little by little, my heart is being filled, my mind is being renewed, and my kids are being loved. It might not look glamorous or exciting, but over the course of their lives it will look like love, commitment, intentionality, sacrifice... all the things they will need to understand and observe in order live a good life.

If I could encourage you in one thing today, it would be to love them well in any small way you can find. Don't let discouragement about what you can't do, rob you of what you can do. Water the people in your life every day! Don't wait until you have something fantastic planned. Wipe those bottoms with a sweet smile for your child, answer their questions with a "yes dear" instead of a "what!?", and tell them what a gift they really are every chance you get. Make love and encouragement a staple in your home. Do it every day and enjoy the growth you will find all around you.





*In case you are curious, here are affiliate links to some of the books I have been enjoying that have contributed to some of my thinking:

A Hunger for God by John Piper
The Road Back to You by Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne Stabile
The Growth Mindset Coach by Annie Brock
The Happiness Advantage by Shawn Achor
Anchored In by Micah Maddox

Sunday, Sunday.

I have a real problem "keeping the Sabbath". My Sundays never feel like what I imagine.

This topic has been reappearing in my life a lot lately, so I'm taking some time to consider its importance. Maybe your family does a really good job of keeping the Sabbath, or maybe you've never thought about it too much. Either way, I hope some of my thoughts and struggles here will help you find a way to honor the Lord and find the rest you need.

"Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy." Exodus 20:8

I grew up in the church, as did my husband, so the idea of keeping the Sabbath is not a new one by any means. My husband's grandfather would even go so far as to not eat out, shop at any stores, or use any type of hired service on Sundays. Always considering others as important as himself, it was important that he enable others not to need to work on Sundays. This has always been interesting to me, as my idea of rest usually includes hiring out the work of fixing lunch or maybe dinner. Heaven forbid I plan ahead and crock-pot my way to rest. That's a story for another day.

Over the last year this has come up in conversation quite often and many of the people talking about taking a Sabbath have been pastors or pastor's wives. Most have shared about regularly taking all day Monday or Friday to enjoy family time, go on hikes, or do whatever was good for their family to have a break, spend time together, and enjoy a day without much obligation or formal work. This really intrigued me, but since my husband has a typical Monday through Friday, eight-to-five job, it would never work for us. Their reasoning is that Sunday is always at least half-full of work at church, so they might as well go all-out and expect to "work" that day. After all, it's no easy task to constantly be serving at church and fellowshipping with others afterwards, maybe even running or serving at a Sunday night service.

Our Sundays have looked vastly different depending on what church we were attending. When we were first married, my husband sometimes led worship, but that was really the only capacity our church seemed to need us. The young adults group met Sunday evenings, but it was a very casual time of teaching and prayer, and since we didn't have kids and many of our best friends went too, it was refreshing and easy to go.

At our next church, again Mark led worship, but he was a more integral part of it. I was on our women's ministry team and helped with different events and bible studies (which almost never required anything from me on Sundays at all). Our church didn't usually have any evening services, so once church was out on Sundays, it really was a day of rest for us. We also only had the two boys at that time, and they were pretty easy kiddos.

With only a short stint at the church between then and now, those are my only experiences with Sundays in church as an adult. Our church now is fairly small. We committed with our dear friends in the revitalization of an old church and have been tremendously blessed by our last three-plus years there. But I have really struggled to figure out how to fit in a day of real rest as a family.

I only recently quit working in the nursery, have been a faithful bible-study participant, and Mark leads worship at least every other week. We have service Sunday morning, and a prayer service on Sunday nights, however, we rarely make it to those now that we live a bit further away. Mark has men's group on Monday evenings, and during the school year our bible study meets on Friday mornings. Now this doesn't cramp our schedule or anything, but I'm struggling to find a day of the week where we can truly rest the way God has wired us. Mark is definitely more of an introvert, and with me homeschooling and being with the kids all day, some non-people time is something I genuinely need to do more often.

On top of all this, I will only briefly mention the life-zapping effect my daughter has had on me. Her physical and emotional neediness the first few years of her life were far more draining than all of life with both of my boys. I feel like I am still recovering from the last four years with her. Don't get me started on what it's like to drop her off in the nursery each week.

So how does a family who serves in church, but has a typical, secular work-schedule, and who has children who are homeschooled and participate in sports, take a day an entire day of rest together?

After reading/listening to Glynnis Whitwer's book Doing Busy Better and listening to her session at SheSpeaks this year, I was curious to see if I could really not work on Sunday and still find the joyful revival in my soul that often alludes me. Do I trust God enough to make my service on Sundays feel life-giving and not like a burden? Do I trust Him to help me get all my work done in six days, and only do what rejuvenates and is life-giving on Sunday? Will all of this really make a lasting difference in my life and the life of my family?

Realistically, this feels like a lot to expect. I mean, there are kids who need help, meals that need made, and some type of cleaning is pretty much always involved. Then I have to factor in the fact that going to church usually involves some sacrifice, either because of service-roles or because it's not always easy to show up with a room full of diverse people and hold conversation while you wait to hear the Word of God. Yes, many conversations are life-giving, but sometimes they feel more like work. And often, kids are interrupting, needing help, or just plain driving you crazy.

So what am I doing with all of this? Well, taking a Sabbath on any other day of the week simply doesn't work for us. So on Sunday, I am trying really hard to wake up with a different mindset. It's not a day to simply do nothing, and expect to not be needed. It's a day to accept God's calling on my life, to accept the role I am playing with a joyful heart. As one who struggles with needing to actively pursue something in order to feel joy, I am trying to simply enjoy the down-time and not sneak in "work" throughout the day.

At our Sunday Service, this looks like being willing to hold conversations with people who seem uninterested, or are new, trusting that participating in God's work will bring about blessing and life. In the afternoons, this means not constantly checking on posts on social media, or responding to emails, knowing that what others expect of me has no genuine bearing on my soul. It means not reading books to catch up with my work, and only reading what I know will leave me refreshed and encouraged. It means if we watch a movie, I am snuggling the kids (or my husband!) instead of half-paying attention and scrolling through Facebook, completely confident of the benefits of being fully present in these important relationships.

Overall, I am working on making our Sundays life-giving, where I can observe God's goodness, and forget my own expectations of what makes a "good day". Every day is a good day to praise Him, and I need to be able to praise Him and honor Him by taking up the rest He calls me to. We need lasting rejuvenation, not just finding fulfillment in temporary accomplishments, having our life in order, or feeling like our service is noticed. We need more than to feel like all our ducks are in a row, or that we are particularly special, or even that our future circumstances are planned out and perfect. We need our security, our worth, our reward, and our joy to come from trusting in God for eternal goodness, provision, and favor.

Taking a quality Sabbath is a wonderful way to move our minds into experiencing what we know we should feel. God can take care of everything, even when we take a day off. And I am already seeing how trusting Him with those few hours on Sunday really impacts the rest of my week. My work feels lighter and less dependent on my ability. My striving feels fun and doesn't change the value of my personhood. My goals seem to find a way to line up better with His plans for me and I am struggling less with trying to "figure out my life" when frustrating situations arise.

You might not be able to take a "real" Sabbath like you wish, but you can change your posture toward your selective day of rest, and I really hope you do. We all need to find better ways to rest in Him. Sometimes that comes from the heart first, and sometimes from our body. But either way, I know that taking steps to trust God more will bear everlasting fruit. No matter what area of your life you are trusting Him with, He is more than capable of taking your load and giving you peace and fulfillment instead.

Alive and Not Brainless.

Yes, I am still alive ;)

Thank goodness for Instagram and Facebook, otherwise you might really think I had dropped off the face of the earth!

This summer is going to be a very busy time for our family. Now that we are mostly settled into our new home, regular life has continued to barge in, interrupt plans, mark up our calendar, and demanded us to make decisions. Yeah, I could cry. We don't do well with busy, and we've mostly been able to keep commitments low in order to accommodate the attempt at sanity, but the kids are getting more social, more needy, and both Mark and I seem to be in more demand. It's all wonderful, enriching, good stuff (well, maybe not his job, but the other stuff), but life definitely feels a bit full.

I'm not actually going to tell you about all the things we are busy with, or even how to cope with feeling too full of busyness, but I just wanted to chime in about some things I've been learning lately regarding understanding God's Word.

Last weekend I went to a Simeon Trust workshop at a local church and was deeply encouraged in several ways. Not only did I learn more about the gospel of Mark (the book, not my husband), but while I was doing all this learning and beating away self-doubt, God was also confirming some things in my life that I am making progress in, both personally and educationally. I have a really hard time taking criticism, so the fact that I was not completely breaking down while presenting my biblical exegesis to a small group of women I've never met before is amazing. They were encouraging, helpful, and inspiring to say the least.

I also felt God confirming this call to grow in my knowledge of the bible and my endeavors to teach the bible. I have always kind of mixed the bible in with what I am sharing and observing, but I also want to make sure God's Word has it's proper place in all of what I share with you. It's not a side-note, or a helpful little chime-in to what I'm dealing with or wanting to say. It is truly central to our lives. And if we are not giving it that place, we need to change.

Our church is doing a short book study on Habits of Grace by David Mathis. His premise is that we can place ourselves under the spigot of God's ever-flowing grace by dedicating ourselves to being in His Word, hearing His voice through prayer & meditation, and placing ourselves in His community by being committed to a body of believers. This is not a guarantee of gaining blessing, getting healing, or having our problems solved, rather, it's how we spend time knowing God better. His grace changes how we go about our days, which changes how we live our lives. Learning and growing and reading this book are changing me to be more dedicated to simple practices like reading the bible and then just sitting and thinking about it, instead of rushing off to the next thing. Or keeping track of my thoughts as they come, instead of waiting to write a blog-post about them, and being able to see how God is speaking to me over time.

I realized how little I look at God's word with the intention of knowing it well and understanding it fully earlier this week. We read a verse out of a kid's devotional book and I put it up on our little board because I loved it so much. We love to think that Jesus leads us to paths of peace...

After being at the Simeon Trust workshop all weekend, I decided to look in Luke at where this verse came from and what it meant. Hint: it's not the easy, lovely answer you are looking for. 

This part of Luke is where Zechariah is speaking over his baby (John the Baptist) just after his birth. This section of verses is about John and Jesus, so here is what the full ESV actually says this in verses 76-79...

"And you, child, will be called the prophet of the Most High;

for you will go before the Lord to prepare his ways,

to give knowledge of salvation to his people

in the forgiveness of their sins,

because of the tender mercy of our God, 

whereby the sunrise shall visit us from on high

to give light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death,

to guide our feet into the way of peace."

So yes, this is about what Jesus will do: bring light to use and offer us a way out of death, darkness and strife. But isn't there more? John didn't just give a call to be happy because we will have peace of earth, he called the people to repentance, to turn from their sin! While I was so thankful for this chance to read, understand, and think about what these verses are saying to us, I was also a little frustrated that this children's devotional had really pulled this verse out of context and formed a message around it that was incomplete. 

Don't we do this a lot? We think of the one verse that brings us comfort in trials, or a certain chapter that helps us feel better about our circumstances? We take a small bit of what someone said and apply it blindly to our lives. This ought not be! We are capable adults, and it is not just wise, but extremely important for us to be in the word ourselves and sharing more than just a verse or two with our children as it comes up. We need to strive to understand the bible in a way the gives our children and our circle of influence a complete picture of Jesus, life, and redemption, not just a band-aid for the painful aspects of life. 

I have not done a great job this with my kids. We read a little devotional, and we do talk a lot about the bible, what it means, and what it calls us to, but now I really see that my kids need more than this. We all need more of this, right?

My plan is to read larger chunks of the bible to my kids for our devotional time which probably happens only 3-4 days a week. And before you freak out, by larger I simply mean five to ten verses instead of just one or two. Aren't we able to invest that small effort of just five or ten minutes and the actual Word of God into our kids, instead of someone else's version of it? 

This month has certainly been  humbling month, but I am blessed that God is still working in me, shaping me, and blessing me with friendships, service roles, being served, and hopefully seeing the world more clearly. I guarantee that extra bible-reading time will change your life. Don't believe for second that it is not worth the sacrifice! 

If you are local, and interested in chatting more about David Mathis' book, feel free to pop into our study, or ask me if we can get together. You know I absolutely love to chat about what I'm learning. And it would be amazing to see your face in person :)

I hope you are all enjoying the sun. May it be a blessing to your soul and lead you to enjoying God to the fullest! 

Learning to Love the Challenge of Growing.

If you remember a while ago, I posted a little about myself and my struggle with certain strengths and desires here. I listed my top five strengths according to the survey in Now, Discover Your Strengths tried to better explain my constant desire to finish well, to do my best, and achieve the greatest possible outcome I can control. As I seem to be given many opportunities to grow in my areas of weakness, lately I have been inspired to see how I can use my strengths in ways that don't seem so obvious at first. These strengths are things I've known about for over 15 years now but I have rarely looked at them objectively, seeking to leverage them in order to fulfill a purpose or achieve a goal - despite being an achiever! Ha! But lately, I've been intentionally embracing these parts of myself and trying to enjoy them, to let them be a blessing to others, even if the opportunity to use them is less than pleasant, and grow into them as much as I can.

I've often been told I am energetic, passionate, and that my excitement over something rubs off on other people. But let me tell you, I hardly ever feel like that energized person for more than moments at a time. This really got to me the last couple years, as more and more strangers would talk about how I inspired them or encouraged them in their learning, or their ambitions, and I would feel a little bit dumbfounded. I tried really hard not to look confused, but that is definitely how I felt.

Days after a big event, or after and meeting where I got to talk about a subject I love, I'd often crash emotionally and wonder if I was being something other than my genuine self in those settings. It wasn't until after SheSpeaks last year that I began to connect the dots about this mystery in my life. With each passing month I am gaining more clarity about myself, my role, my choices, and see the different modes in which I operate. It wasn't that I was not being genuine during those times, but rather than much of my life does not include room for my natural strengths to be used, at least, not in the ways I envisioned, not in the ways that easily rejuvenate me.

How does one "achieve" as a SAHM without making herself overly proud of the role she is in? Plus, I'm bad at cleaning, so my daily list of accomplishments is rarely something to boast about. How does a SAHM feel good about the progress of her projects at home or the things she got started when it's very taboo to brag about home-life and homeschooling your children? I definitely think that is not the way to go, and it would just build walls. How could I possibly Win Others Over or win at anything important when I often prefer to stay home and read a book? Yeah, it definitely does not feel like a lot of winning on those days. Are you seeing how I was feeling? So many of my strengths are not ideal for being a homeschool mom.

For long bouts, I let this defeat me. I succumbed to the idea that a good homeschool mom makes everything from scratch, is 100 percent content to sacrifice most of her time for her kids, or is a patient, soft-spoken, morning person. If I met another woman who didn't struggle with the desire to accomplish something important, I automatically assumed she was better than me, or that something was terribly amiss in my heart. Women can be like this, as I'm sure you know. We analyze ourselves by comparison, it just comes naturally. But we need to start analyzing ourselves by God's standards.

Several things will happen when we do this.

We will be more humble. When we see that we can never live up to the level of perfection and love that God calls us to, we will receive His grace much more willingly and happily.

We will love other women without judgment... or at least less. We will recognize their flaws as innate, not purposeful or impossible to overcome and we will be quick to forgive and overlook offenses. We will desire to see good things in them, to know them better and be real with them more regularly.

We will be free from our own judgements. We will see that God has made us in particular ways for particular purposes, and different seasons of our lives will grow us in different ways. This will enable us to embrace difficult seasons, knowing they are not the only season we will have in life. We will not be fearful of enduring hardship, because we trust it will end in due time and will have its desired effect.

According to God's word, He is preparing me for good works, according to His purposes (Ephesians 2:10). A long season of sacrificing in ways that are not natural, or even desirable, is preparing me for different hard seasons, which may feel easier after having endured those other hard seasons. I will be stronger because of them, or at least, more willing to endure, because I know there will be another spring at the end of each desolate winter.

While I truly love homeschooling and being home with my kids, I see this season not as the pinnacle of my life, but as a season of preparation and opportunity. Part of the great opportunity lies in being the primary person my children turn to for help. They have come to trust me, to see me as the first person they can come to for whatever need they have. What a blessing that is! Another part of this opportunity is the chance to grow in ways that are uncomfortable in the comfort of my home. I stink at serving, I am often a lousy house-wife, and usually pretty bad at being tidy. But, I'm not called out publicly on these things (unless you count admitting this all to you). I can work on these in private and avoid being shamed in front other others. I can get help from people who love me as needed, and my job is not at stake because of my failures.

The preparation aspect of my role at home is a little harder to remember on difficult days. I have many interruptions throughout my day, a lot of people asking me questions, and so many demands placed upon me, both from myself and from others, that I am forced to be more organized and more intentional. But somehow, I still end up getting sidetracked, becoming distracted by other people's success or by my own misery (yes, that's a little dramatic, but I'm just trying to be honest here). I forget to trust the Lord and work with His plans instead of dwelling on my own. When I put my heart into my "work", no matter what that looks like on each particular day, I can trust this work has a good purpose, one God has set in motion to accumulate and build and grow into another purpose He has for me down the road. When I despise this work of being steady, patient, service-minded, and giving, I miss out on being ready for the other works He is setting on my path. They get delayed, or maybe I'm simply less prepared when I finally catch up to them, and there are few things I hate more than not being prepared for something important!

I hope you are catching my drift in all of this rambling. Our strengths are not always used in all the seasons of our lives, but we can find ways to grow no matter the situations we find ourselves in. I am practicing my strength of Winning Others Over by trying to Win my children's hearts and minds over to the Lord's purposes. I try to use my strength of being an avid Learner to show to beauty of learning to those I encounter, young and old alike, and homeschooling really does afford me great opportunity in this certain strength. While my strength of being an Activator is hard when often stranded at home with obligations other than the tasks I'd like to accomplish, I can work on getting the kids started on their tasks, investing in their needs and goals, finding contentment in God's purpose behind being home, not just in my own goals or personal endeavors.

Most of all, I really want you to see how your strengths can still be used in situations that are not what you had planned, or even what seem fitting. No matter where you find yourself, you can use your God-ordained gifts to grow, bless, and be content, despite every single challenge you encounter. When you look back at these seasons of difficulty, you will smile seeing all the ways you grew, all the ways God prepared you for the situation you are currently facing, and know that once again, you will grow, learn, and be fully capable to walk in the truth.

On Being and Giving.

Last summer, I read Madeleine L'engle's book A Circle of Quiet per the recommendation of a friend of mine, Angela. She's an avid reader and an excellent writer, so I trusted her recommendation without question. If you remember, I more than loved it. It was indescribable to read pages from a woman's mind that seemed to come from my own, except, said better and with far more life experience and adventure than I feel able to bring. Anyway, I keep coming back to the word Madeleine was fixated on: ontology.

Actually, I don't care much for the word, but I am intrigued by the concept: Being.

I love accomplishing tasks. Big or small, if they get done and I can show evidence of the validity of my accomplishments, I am one happy woman. Not for long though, as there is always more to do, more to prove, more to achieve. But the older I get, the more I want to be loved for who I am, not just for what I do. This is great for the saved, because it isn't our sinful nature that defines us, but our being children of God that determines our worth. And I'm finding my happiness is linked to this difference in thinking too: we are not what we do, but who we are becoming.

This idea keeps popping up in everything I do, all the movies I watch, all the books I read, and many of the interactions I have with my kids. Finding our center, our being, the part of us that God made tick a specific and purposeful way, is going to bring us more peace than any other endeavor on earth. Like it or not, we will not find that peace if our hunt in not centered on God. It is only in Him that we find any purpose worthwhile.

He did not create us so we can glory in ourselves, and a major part of our purpose in being created by God is to have fellowship with Him. Our being brings Him glory, and His glory brings us happiness. It's insanely simple and completely generous.

Consider this. When I look at the ocean, the more I know about it, the more I experience it, the more I see amazing life within it, then the more peace reigns over me while I am there. When I look at flowers, the more familiar they become, the more I can name them accurately, the more I can tell their smells apart, then the more of a joy they are to me. Are you seeing the trend? The more we know the being of something, the more beautiful it is to us. This is true for God, and true for ourselves. The more we know God, the more we enjoy Him. The more we live true to the spark of creativity and potential He put within each of us, the more we are glad to be us. We must always give all credit to God for His amazing design, grace, and purpose, but we have to also recognize the incredible beauty He planted in each of us.

So here are my two pieces of advice to be happy with you, with your particular and original being, and I do not give these independent from knowing God - that is the first must!

1. Look at yourself less. I know, it seems weird to love yourself more by looking at yourself less, but it really is true. The more you focus on what you are now, the less time and energy you have to become the person God is shaping you to be - wonderful, perfectly formed, and a blessing to others. Stop looking in the mirror so much, stop thinking about what you could have done, and stop wishing to be something other than the current version of yourself.

2. Give kindness. It's the best way to be the best you. Recently, I read a snippet about how trying to please others doesn't actually please them, but being a happy and pleasant person to be around is what actually pleases other people. If we think more about smiling at our children, paying attention to the needs of others, and being gentle towards those we encounter, the joy we spread will outnumber the stars and cause us to be more in line with the purposes God has for us. You won't feel deprived of self-care, but you will be blessed by spreading love so generously, by having God's Spirit moving through you.

That seems really easy, completely over-the-top dumbed down. Maybe it is, but I know it works. When I smiled and waved at my daughter on her bike the other day, her surprise quickly turned to joy in both of our hearts. When I encouraged my son to do the same thing on her next trip around the sport-court, we tripled the joy between us. We all became a little more us, a little more the way God wants us to be: giving, joyful, purposeful, pleasant.

As the joy quickly turned to the grumps in our house, I reminded my son "It doesn't matter what you get in this life, it's what you give that makes the difference". It's also what makes you specifically you. What you give to others is part of the intentional design of our creator. The ocean gives awe, flowers give cheer, clouds give rain and inspiration, and those qualities, along with thousands of others, are what make each of these creations uniquely divine. So it is with us.

What you give is forming you every day, both in your own being and in your being towards others. If you want to be happy with who you are, or content with what is going on in your life, think less about you and think more about what you can give. It's the upside-down way to peace, and it was God's upside-down way to redemption as well, in giving us His Son. My prayer is that my life will lead you to aim high in enjoying your giving, whatever that looks like for you. Giving up vices, or giving up time, giving up bad attitudes, or giving away your cash. What we give says more about who we are than our words can ever articulate. You were made to give life, and God empowers us to give more than we can imagine, even more than exists within us. That is the biggest blessing in our giving - feeling the movement of God in our lives. Enjoy becoming who you are meant to be by loving the act of giving. It does not lead to loss, but to the greatest abundance you can imagine, and more.

Funky Town.

In case you've watched Parenthood... no, that kind of funky town ;)

I have been in a bit of a writing funk lately. Actually, maybe just an overall funk.

Closing on the house got delayed... again. And again, and probably will one more time. But who really knows, because our brokers are not exactly being communicative anymore. Fun, right?

I had already scheduled the painters, given our rental agency a move-out date, hired movers for our really big stuff, and was going to call Stanley Steemer, but now I need to rearrange all of that. I've actually been waiting until the last-minute to initiate all our utilities for fear of closing getting delayed, and I'm super glad I did. Our signing date was going to put us in a pinch because of a High School event I need to attend in my hometown, but now we don't even know when signing will be, so we're waiting on that detail. And I'm trying really hard not to look at the house with too much longing. I know it's just a building, and I want my hope to be on Christ and His work, but this has still been a trying process.

In reality, this is all just regular life stuff. No terrible road bumps, no deaths in the family, no financial disaster (unless you count spending all our savings next week), no threat of my husband losing his job, no crises or drama that is completely out of the ordinary. Not for me at least, but there are many for which this week has been filled with far more uncertainty than I can imagine.

In all of the recent drama with Trump's executive orders I have been forced me to look more closely at the lives of refugees and immigrants around the world. My housing troubles seem very small in comparison to the lives many of these people are enduring. I don't even enjoying hiking with my kids sometimes, because they whine and bicker over the course of one or two miles. I cannot imagine endless hours of walking through dangerous territories, or on over-filled life-rafts, or wandering aimlessly through packed tent cities. And this is just a small area of the world, not including the villages, cities, and countries enduring massive poverty and danger on a regular basis. It is heart-breaking, eye-opening, and humbling.

I read a really great article by David Platt about the way Christians should respond, and I think you will benefit from reading it too. If you are not a Christian, I hope you will still read it and see that this is the heart of Jesus, the desire of God - the protect, offer refuge, and give hope.

I am sharing all of these things for a couple reasons. I want you to be updated with our house-stuff. For some reason, a bunch of you are interested in it ;) I also want you to consider your responses to those you witness enduring hardship. Are you cold, uninterested in what you can do for others? Or are you compassionate, but possibly lacking ideas on how to participate in helping those in need? Or maybe you are already actively serving, helping, meeting needs to those less fortunate. In every circumstance, difficult or easy, I think J.F.K.'s quote seems very appropriate: "And so, my fellow Americans: ask not what your country can do for you - ask what you can do for your country."

I know there are extremely varied opinions about what is best for our country, but we can all look at our family, our friends, and our neighbors, and ask what is best for each of them. Jesus did not look at what was best for himself, but what was best for those around him, for us. If we can take our eyes off our own troubles and can serve those around us with a genuine interest in their well-being, our country will be transformed, person by person, neighborhood by neighborhood. It's too easy to wallow in the challenges we face, but the world needs us to take our eyes off ourselves and get to the hard work of serving each other.

Witnessing all of this uncertainty, both in my own life and seeing it in the lives of others, I am learning how little I actually need to know in order to be an agent of love. It's easy to think we need to figure things out and wrap our minds around everything going on in order to be of use, but it simply isn't true. Loving and serving are effective tools in creating relationship, being a positive impact, and making the world a better place. While our words can be lasting and powerful, our actions are proof of those words. They confirm the words we speak (or type) are true.

As you go about your week, I hope you'll consider the correlation between your words and your works. I hope that for every time you think about your own problems, you are praying for the problems of others. I hope your days are not filled with self-consumption, but investment in the people around you. While history often only highlights people of prominence, it is the individual people of our world who make our lives better, and if we are busy making the lives of other people great, our world will be great as well. Check in with your kids, your spouse, your friends, and your co-workes - see what you can do to make their lives better, not for the sake of being a great person, but for the sake of showing the greatness of genuine love.