Trusting for the Impossible.

If you have grown up in church, or have been in church for long, you're familiar with the idea of leaning on Jesus. He is to supply all our needs, to do what we cannot do ourselves. And yes, this is true! In my selfish state, I cannot make myself want to be a patient mom, and I cannot will my heart to love my family with a true servant's heart apart from Jesus changing my desires. But it really is funny how God seems to take something you think you knew, then lay it out in a brand new light, usually through circumstances you would not wish on anyone else.

Last week I had my first practicum of the year. Being involved in Classical Conversations has given me a place to work on my learning and speaking endeavors, so two summers ago and this summer I have been able to speak at a few of our three-day Practicum sessions. This is where we work together to better understand a specific topic, learn how to implement classical tools of learning in our daily teaching endeavors, and then practice what we are learning together. It's loads of fun, and loads of work. I speak for three days, do at least 80+ hours of reading, editing slides, and just overall coordinating materials. Each day is about five or six hours total of standing on stage, leading discussion, and sharing information. For some reason, I am just naturally wired to love it!

Although, I'm not the best at packing!

Back to last week, I was in Eugene for the three days and got to enjoy some time with my baby sister, who is really not a baby anymore, as well as visit Gutenberg College, and make a bunch of new friends. But God had a small kink He was going to throw into my plans. Monday night I became immensely sick, slept only two hours, and then it was time to get ready for day number two. No big deal, right? Ha! I cannot remember the last time I slept only two hours, but I guarantee I did not do anything important the next day. I cannot remember the last time I felt so miserable for so long either! And again, those sick days are usually followed by lots of TV for the kids and mom laying on the couch. So to say I was concerned at 6am is probably an understatement.

As I called, texted, and left messages with people in charge, I decided to try to get ready, do the bare minimum to be presentable, and hope for the best. I started to feel less nauseous, but I was feverish and sweating, had the car turned up to 80 degrees, and tried to rest on the heated seats. I really needed to just get through the first session, then we had plans for someone else attending who would be able to take over if needed. After being prayed over several times, and willingly stepping forward to do my job, I made it through the morning, and by lunch time I was laughing about how crazy it all was.


Now, I didn't go into those first sessions saying "God will provide for all my needs." I simply showed up and hoped I wouldn't die. I know God does not always provide the things I think I need, or help me achieve grand or amazing accomplishments. I know that His plans are often different than mine and, usually, a lot less comfortable. And this insane experience of mine was confirmation that God is doing works that are far beyond my understanding.

Feeling almost normal on Day 3 of Eugene Practicum! 

In church the following Sunday, we sang about how much we need Jesus, and the pieces of the puzzle started to come together a bit. I know that God must have supplied my need that Tuesday at Practicum, because I have never done anything coherent on only two hours of sleep. But how often do I go into situations in my life, fully confident in God's ability to accomplish His plans, not bemoaning the cost of those works? And more so, how often do I work hard in all my endeavors, trusting God to give my kids, my family, and the people I am investing in, what only He can give? Or do I simply look at myself, get frustrated at my inability, and sit alone in defeat?

I still don't really know why on earth God would have allowed me to get sick when I did, as it was honestly one of my worst nightmares as far at the timing was concerned, but I know I grew from that experience, and I saw God working in me in a far different way than I usually see. I have a different perspective on what it means for God to "supply our need" or to work in us far beyond what we can see or understand. This experience is forcing me to look at my daily life with less trust in myself, but not in a defeated way. I can see my inability and say "I know God has got it covered."

He is always at work, always desiring for us to trust Him in our lack. And not just in our physical lack, or monetary lack, or energy-related lack, but in all ways that we cannot be perfect, He is there, willing to give out the rest. In all our endeavors, when we truly seek His will, He is there making up for all the ways we fall short. We don't need to obsess over what we are unable to give our children, or the goals we still are unable to reach. God is there, working things out, providing for us in both dramatic and normal ways. He barely sustains us when that is all we need, and He gives us great abundance when that is what what we need.

Are you seeing a theme yet? We can trust that whatever provision He is sending, is precisely what we need. This insight has brought me great joy and comfort this week. I think most moms struggle with inadequacy and wondering if they are truly giving their family what they need. But God's provision during my time of need has reminded me that He is always working, always giving my family what they need, through all of my failures, strengths, struggles, and victories. He's making up for my lack and providing me the strength to excel with the gifts He has given.

This is the road to low-stress parenting, and I'm beginning to see it as the road to low-stress life as well: trusting God for all the things we cannot control. And not just hoping it works out, but knowing with full confidence that in every situation God is working out the details for the betterment of our souls. Beautiful comfort, sweet delight, undeserved blessing! Yes, easier said than done, but well worth the effort to pursue.

More Favorite Things!

To all of you faithful followers, however few you might be, I hope you have not missed my weekly posts and are at least enjoying some other good reading. The weekly commitment is just a bit much for me right now, so monthly posts are going to become the norm!

This summer is jam-packed with speaking, reading, writing, attending, learning, and likely a lot of swimming with my kids :) Even though my schedule feels a bit overwhelming right now, I know it will be a great summer, filled with life-giving, beautiful moments and lessons. Lots of work for sure, but I am confident bunches of wonderful goodness will come from all of it.

For something a bit lighter, I thought I'd jump on and share with you some of the things I am enjoying right now. Coloring, accessories, books, oils, decor... I have so much fun stuff to show you! I hope you enjoy it all as much as I do :) Affiliate links are included.

I found this company last night... how cute are their watch bands! It's hard to pick just one. I'm thinking something colorful and floral, or teal blue. Teal blue matches everything, right? 

I'm in the middle of a lot of books right now (who am I joking, all the time), but in preparation for speaking at a couple Classical Conversations Practicums in June, I am finishing up this book about the way we ought to teach. It is SO good! Hitting the nail on the head. 

While doing spelling with he boys lately, I've been coloring these lovely little pages, just to be doing something a bit mindless but beautiful. It's been fun :) Though, here are a couple other books I like too...

I recently started working out again at StrengthFarm in SE Portland, where I was before we sold our old house. It's about a 20min drive now, but it gives me time to pray, listen to books, or just enjoy some peace & quiet. I love lifting weights, and with an in-house Physical Therapist, it was an easy choice. I couldn't make the drive from our rental in NW, but our new place is much closer and I am SO thankful to be back! 

As many of you know, I have totally jumped onto the Oily train and have been running a business with my sister. I recently bought this water bottle and am LOVING it. I bring it everywhere and add in some Lemon, Peppermint, or Grapefruit oil for a little zing and wellness :)

This month, you get a FREE 15ml Tangerine when you buy your kit, so if you've been pondering that decision, don't wait! 

Last month, I won this sign because my little sister tagged me in an Instagram Giveaway - I think it might be the best thing I've even won! So pretty, right? The woman who runs her shop is fairly local, so check out her Etsy Shop and her Instagram and be inspired (and buy a sign). 

This is me a few weeks ago, after a Physical Therapy session for my knee, enjoying a couple hours without kids (thanks to my AMAZING friend Mary). I've been trying really hard to eat better lunches, and it is easier to do with avocados in the house. How are they so delicious? No one else likes them, so at least I don't have to worry about avocado thieves around here!

I may have linked to these before, but I just adore them. They are perfect if you pick up one of those coloring books. Nice color, super-fine tip, and they fill in with even color so easily! Great for other uses too, though watch out for bleeding through thinner pages. 

We just finished reading this book with the Richardson kiddos this morning, and we also read The Magic Finger earlier today too (super quick, super entertaining). I just love almost everything by Roald Dahl. He just seemed to have such a great sense of what was funny and entertaining for children without diminishing the value in beautiful language. I am slowly collecting his books each visit to Goodwill or Value Village or when they are discounted on Amazon.

Lastly, we are really enjoying the pool. Though, my oldest seems to think we should just swim every day for hours on end. Their fair skin and hay fever require them to take breaks, thankfully for me! I am enjoying the additional exercise, but this mama has things to do too... I can't lounge all day. Not until August anyway ;)

I'm sure there are many more things I could share, but the list is too long and our attention spans, I'm sure, are too short. I hope you look around your life, find the beautiful things you can revel in, and enjoy your summer with your family. Don't despise the small, don't cling so tightly to your agenda that you hate the interruptions, and don't forget to love the people in your life EVERY day! 

If you want to stay a little more "in the loop" as far as my life goes, come follow me on Instagram @jojococamo

Happy Almost Summer!

Alive and Not Brainless.

Yes, I am still alive ;)

Thank goodness for Instagram and Facebook, otherwise you might really think I had dropped off the face of the earth!

This summer is going to be a very busy time for our family. Now that we are mostly settled into our new home, regular life has continued to barge in, interrupt plans, mark up our calendar, and demanded us to make decisions. Yeah, I could cry. We don't do well with busy, and we've mostly been able to keep commitments low in order to accommodate the attempt at sanity, but the kids are getting more social, more needy, and both Mark and I seem to be in more demand. It's all wonderful, enriching, good stuff (well, maybe not his job, but the other stuff), but life definitely feels a bit full.

I'm not actually going to tell you about all the things we are busy with, or even how to cope with feeling too full of busyness, but I just wanted to chime in about some things I've been learning lately regarding understanding God's Word.

Last weekend I went to a Simeon Trust workshop at a local church and was deeply encouraged in several ways. Not only did I learn more about the gospel of Mark (the book, not my husband), but while I was doing all this learning and beating away self-doubt, God was also confirming some things in my life that I am making progress in, both personally and educationally. I have a really hard time taking criticism, so the fact that I was not completely breaking down while presenting my biblical exegesis to a small group of women I've never met before is amazing. They were encouraging, helpful, and inspiring to say the least.

I also felt God confirming this call to grow in my knowledge of the bible and my endeavors to teach the bible. I have always kind of mixed the bible in with what I am sharing and observing, but I also want to make sure God's Word has it's proper place in all of what I share with you. It's not a side-note, or a helpful little chime-in to what I'm dealing with or wanting to say. It is truly central to our lives. And if we are not giving it that place, we need to change.

Our church is doing a short book study on Habits of Grace by David Mathis. His premise is that we can place ourselves under the spigot of God's ever-flowing grace by dedicating ourselves to being in His Word, hearing His voice through prayer & meditation, and placing ourselves in His community by being committed to a body of believers. This is not a guarantee of gaining blessing, getting healing, or having our problems solved, rather, it's how we spend time knowing God better. His grace changes how we go about our days, which changes how we live our lives. Learning and growing and reading this book are changing me to be more dedicated to simple practices like reading the bible and then just sitting and thinking about it, instead of rushing off to the next thing. Or keeping track of my thoughts as they come, instead of waiting to write a blog-post about them, and being able to see how God is speaking to me over time.

I realized how little I look at God's word with the intention of knowing it well and understanding it fully earlier this week. We read a verse out of a kid's devotional book and I put it up on our little board because I loved it so much. We love to think that Jesus leads us to paths of peace...

After being at the Simeon Trust workshop all weekend, I decided to look in Luke at where this verse came from and what it meant. Hint: it's not the easy, lovely answer you are looking for. 

This part of Luke is where Zechariah is speaking over his baby (John the Baptist) just after his birth. This section of verses is about John and Jesus, so here is what the full ESV actually says this in verses 76-79...

"And you, child, will be called the prophet of the Most High;

for you will go before the Lord to prepare his ways,

to give knowledge of salvation to his people

in the forgiveness of their sins,

because of the tender mercy of our God, 

whereby the sunrise shall visit us from on high

to give light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death,

to guide our feet into the way of peace."

So yes, this is about what Jesus will do: bring light to use and offer us a way out of death, darkness and strife. But isn't there more? John didn't just give a call to be happy because we will have peace of earth, he called the people to repentance, to turn from their sin! While I was so thankful for this chance to read, understand, and think about what these verses are saying to us, I was also a little frustrated that this children's devotional had really pulled this verse out of context and formed a message around it that was incomplete. 

Don't we do this a lot? We think of the one verse that brings us comfort in trials, or a certain chapter that helps us feel better about our circumstances? We take a small bit of what someone said and apply it blindly to our lives. This ought not be! We are capable adults, and it is not just wise, but extremely important for us to be in the word ourselves and sharing more than just a verse or two with our children as it comes up. We need to strive to understand the bible in a way the gives our children and our circle of influence a complete picture of Jesus, life, and redemption, not just a band-aid for the painful aspects of life. 

I have not done a great job this with my kids. We read a little devotional, and we do talk a lot about the bible, what it means, and what it calls us to, but now I really see that my kids need more than this. We all need more of this, right?

My plan is to read larger chunks of the bible to my kids for our devotional time which probably happens only 3-4 days a week. And before you freak out, by larger I simply mean five to ten verses instead of just one or two. Aren't we able to invest that small effort of just five or ten minutes and the actual Word of God into our kids, instead of someone else's version of it? 

This month has certainly been  humbling month, but I am blessed that God is still working in me, shaping me, and blessing me with friendships, service roles, being served, and hopefully seeing the world more clearly. I guarantee that extra bible-reading time will change your life. Don't believe for second that it is not worth the sacrifice! 

If you are local, and interested in chatting more about David Mathis' book, feel free to pop into our study, or ask me if we can get together. You know I absolutely love to chat about what I'm learning. And it would be amazing to see your face in person :)

I hope you are all enjoying the sun. May it be a blessing to your soul and lead you to enjoying God to the fullest! 

#wifestylin Winner!

Good morning lovely readers!

I'm sure you're all curious about who won this helpful little book... yes?

Give your best congratulations to Beverly Steele! Yay! Email me your address and I will ship a copy of this book to you for free!! I know that you have taught me so many wonderful tips on how to be a good wife and mother, so this book will likely be a refresher on what you already know :)

Thank you to everyone who read my review and entered the giveaway. If you're local and would like to borrow this book, just let me know! I'm happy to share the love. I have another few books in mind that I'd like to giveaway as well, so make sure you check back here in April. 

My prayer for all of you this week is that you'd look at your life, your marriage, your tasks, and your job, and instead of seeing duty, obligation, responsibility, or plain hard work, you would see the opportunity to give away God's love. I pray that responding in kindness, gentleness, self-control, and love would be on the front of your mind and the intention of your heart. May you see the beautiful and life-giving fruit it brings to your week and be changed day by day by God's working in your life! 

Thanks again to The Blythe Daniel Agency, BlogAbout, and Leafwood Publishers for making this giveaway possible!

#wifestylin and a Book Giveaway

After a short hiatus for our move, I signed up to read and review another book! Thank you to The Blythe Daniel Agency, BlogAbout, and Leafwood Publishers for providing me with this book to read, and an extra copy to give away! There are affiliate links included in this post.

A Wife's Secret to Happiness.

I'm not exactly sure what answer I would have given if someone had asked me exactly what that secret is. I'm sure it would revolve around scheduling more time for reading the bible, prayer, serving others (definitely the husband, right?) and those sorts of things. I can't say I was surprised by what the author Jen Weaver says, but somehow it all still caught me off guard. If you are a newly-wed, or getting married soon, I think this book will spare you LOTS of heartache, miscommunication mishaps, and frustration. It would make a great wedding gift!

The format of her book is very practical. Each chapter is a blessing we receive from the way we act toward our husbands and our marriage, and not just the things we do, but really the way we treat our spouses and our relationship with them.

I'm in a weird phase of life these days. Our lives have had so much upheaval, strain, and demands, marriage investment has not exactly been our top priority. We have been more intentional with date nights lately, and while I know (and probably anyone who interacts with me knows) that I've been less than my best self, I attribute most of it to lack of sleep and the high demands of homeschooling while pursuing so many other endeavors. However, after reading just a couple chapters of this book, I see how my treatment of my spouse really does kill my own joy and make everyone's lives more difficult.

At the end of each chapter there is a little quiz to take in order to help you analyze what your "wifestyle" is, such as Frayed or Braided, Duel or Dance, and MVP or Dream Team. While I could easily tell you the things we should aim for in living with our husbands, I was kind of in denial about how many of these I "failed" or how often the keywords she suggest described me, such as Combative, Entitled, Weary, Frustrated, and Indifferent.

Overall, this book was a gentle wake-up for me. It's incredibly hard to swap out my self-preserving habits for offering the best of myself to my husband. I want to say I don't know why, but I'm confident it is a combination of the attacks of the enemy and my own selfish desires. But the daily choosing to serve myself first? Goodness. Ladies, we cannot keep choosing to invest primarily in our own self-serving desires and expect our husbands to enjoy loving us too. We think we know what we need, and we are convinced God cannot fulfill us while following and serving our flawed men. Big. Fat. Lie.

So today, I would say that the biggest secret to a happy marriage is surrender to God's ways. Yes, that includes submission, and allowing your husband to be in charge. But here is a great quote by Jen near the end of the book. "Being in charge means stewarding resources, receiving counsel, and taking care of the people you lead." Letting our husbands be in charge is for our benefit. Not because we are incapable, but because a team needs one leader. It doesn't mean he controls you, or dictates your every more. Your husband is capable of being a leader, but you need to be willing to wait, support, pray, love, and serve as God grows your husband into his role and shapes your family along the way. Jen is quick to draw lines between abuse and neglect, so don't fear being told to basically sit down and shut up - you won't be hearing that from her!

The few things in the book that I didn't love were more just based on writing style. There are some things that seem a little trite, or more cliché than I prefer, but her points and wisdom are spot on. It's not a deep, theological, or philosophical book. She doesn't go into the depths of marital problems, but her advice is rooted in truth and she gives us SO many practical tips. Most of all, she points us to Christ, and that is where we always need to start.

Are you ready to win? Ready to swallow a bit of pride and courageously face where you can work to improve your marriage? I know you can. If I can get through it with hope and positivity, you totally can :)


a Rafflecopter giveaway


I hope that you will keep an open heart and mind about this book. I know I was a bit skeptical at first, but there are so many valuable pieces of advice here, you would be wrong to dismiss it right away.

Come back on Monday morning and I will announce the winner!

On Not Being a Quitter.

Gosh, yesterday I wanted nothing more than to be a giant quitter. I know I'm not the only mom to find herself here, but it still doesn't feel great.

I like to think I'm just very busy, maybe slightly over-committed, but this really isn't true in regards to time. It is extremely true in regards to mental energy. For some reason, our culture views the need for down-time, quiet moments, and private reflection as a weakness, for those who don't quite have it together enough. I know this is becoming less of an assumption as it used to be, but while it may not be looked down upon as much, it's still feels like people presume if you are capable of more, you are more worthy of high regard, or just better in general. I'm sure most of my friends and family would not say this flat-out, but I feel a pressure, or maybe an expectation, to fill almost every minute of my day with productivity and usefulness. Needs at church, needs in friendships, needs in my marriage, needs of my children, and the constant pull to do my absolute best in every single endeavor - lately it feels like more than my mind, body, and soul can tolerate.

Yesterday, nothing in particular triggered this quitting response, but at the end of every finished task, there was another task, sitting impatiently, waiting to be picked up and executed. Floors, laundry, schoolwork, dinner, fight-club interventions, etc. There just isn't enough of me to do it all, which is fine when you can hire out the cooking, the laundry, the learning, or the childcare, but those are things we haven't upgraded to quite yet. And for some reason, I'm too stubborn to give up my other endeavors to better balance the demands of my household - I'm still not sure what that means for my future, but I was definitely too stubborn about all of it yesterday.

I get in this funk where I look at all the things on my plate, and since they cannot all be done at maximum effort, I'd rather not do a single one. I long to quit everything. I dream about escaping to a magical, tropical island with little to no responsibility. I am not sure exactly what I'd do with all the time, or with any of my life at that point, but this all-or-nothing fire rages and consumes almost every rational thought in my head until I'm furious about the 10 crumbs that got knocked off a kitchen counter after I had swept and mopped. I sure hope I'm not alone.

Last night, while I was still taking deep breaths, breathing in my happy-oils, and trying to vent a little here on my blog, I started taking steps toward not believing all the lies that keep me in that all-or-nothing mode. Voices tell me that since I started something, I need to finish it. Assumptions linger about what that lady or this person thinks about my capabilities. My inner person taunts that if I can't be the best, I am wasting my time. Doubts creep all about, making me wonder what on earth I am actually doing with my life. All of these things going on in my head need to be shut out so I can enjoy what's going on right now, but I can't seem to quiet them as quickly as I'd like.

I have made improvements. I don't doubt myself as much as I used to. I am mostly okay with not being the absolute best. And I'm pretty darn sure my kids are on a great path, learning all kinds of important things and growing in their ability to think about the world. They have more opportunity than I did as a child, so my guilt over wanting to give them more needs to take a back seat. In order to talk myself down from this level of crazy, I work hard at telling myself the truth, because from there my path is far less confusing, overflowing with grace, and leads to the ultimate destination. But telling myself the truth has to be more than just a positive word, or an uplifting song. The only truths worth clinging to are the ones found in God's word. And if I'm not going there when I feel like quitting, I'm not filling up my mind with any sort of goodness strong enough to dispel the lies attempting to make a home in my brain.

So today, while I don't have any particular choices I am looking for wisdom about, I find that I need a general wisdom to help me know how to interact with my children, my friends, and my spouse in ways that show honor, respect, and sincerity. I need wisdom about what is right, on how to think more rightly, so I can act more rightly. And James 1:5 is a guarantee I cling to...

"If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him."

It's humbling to ask for wisdom when you don't actually want to change, but I know I can't stay in these trenches forever, wanting to quit every other day or acting like a jerk because I'm unhappy with myself. I'm not sure why it's so hard to ask God for good things. I know "good things" doesn't always  mean easy, fun, fulfilling, but the end results are always worth it. If I can just remember that God's ideas of absolute best is the only idea that matters, the only thing I need to embrace, my quitting days will be fewer and far between. I don't have to be the best, the most, the awesomest, or the greatest, just willing to embrace the here, the now, the ugly, the not-so-fun, and whatever else happens to show up. It will truly have to be God-enabled, but I'm pretty sure it'll be worthwhile.

I hope you can relate to this struggle. And I hope my struggle enables you to take courage in yours. It's not just you, it's not just your situation, and it's not just our culture. Our world is falling apart, and the only solid rock we have is God - His promises, His path of redemption, His love.

Learning to Love the Challenge of Growing.

If you remember a while ago, I posted a little about myself and my struggle with certain strengths and desires here. I listed my top five strengths according to the survey in Now, Discover Your Strengths tried to better explain my constant desire to finish well, to do my best, and achieve the greatest possible outcome I can control. As I seem to be given many opportunities to grow in my areas of weakness, lately I have been inspired to see how I can use my strengths in ways that don't seem so obvious at first. These strengths are things I've known about for over 15 years now but I have rarely looked at them objectively, seeking to leverage them in order to fulfill a purpose or achieve a goal - despite being an achiever! Ha! But lately, I've been intentionally embracing these parts of myself and trying to enjoy them, to let them be a blessing to others, even if the opportunity to use them is less than pleasant, and grow into them as much as I can.

I've often been told I am energetic, passionate, and that my excitement over something rubs off on other people. But let me tell you, I hardly ever feel like that energized person for more than moments at a time. This really got to me the last couple years, as more and more strangers would talk about how I inspired them or encouraged them in their learning, or their ambitions, and I would feel a little bit dumbfounded. I tried really hard not to look confused, but that is definitely how I felt.

Days after a big event, or after and meeting where I got to talk about a subject I love, I'd often crash emotionally and wonder if I was being something other than my genuine self in those settings. It wasn't until after SheSpeaks last year that I began to connect the dots about this mystery in my life. With each passing month I am gaining more clarity about myself, my role, my choices, and see the different modes in which I operate. It wasn't that I was not being genuine during those times, but rather than much of my life does not include room for my natural strengths to be used, at least, not in the ways I envisioned, not in the ways that easily rejuvenate me.

How does one "achieve" as a SAHM without making herself overly proud of the role she is in? Plus, I'm bad at cleaning, so my daily list of accomplishments is rarely something to boast about. How does a SAHM feel good about the progress of her projects at home or the things she got started when it's very taboo to brag about home-life and homeschooling your children? I definitely think that is not the way to go, and it would just build walls. How could I possibly Win Others Over or win at anything important when I often prefer to stay home and read a book? Yeah, it definitely does not feel like a lot of winning on those days. Are you seeing how I was feeling? So many of my strengths are not ideal for being a homeschool mom.

For long bouts, I let this defeat me. I succumbed to the idea that a good homeschool mom makes everything from scratch, is 100 percent content to sacrifice most of her time for her kids, or is a patient, soft-spoken, morning person. If I met another woman who didn't struggle with the desire to accomplish something important, I automatically assumed she was better than me, or that something was terribly amiss in my heart. Women can be like this, as I'm sure you know. We analyze ourselves by comparison, it just comes naturally. But we need to start analyzing ourselves by God's standards.

Several things will happen when we do this.

We will be more humble. When we see that we can never live up to the level of perfection and love that God calls us to, we will receive His grace much more willingly and happily.

We will love other women without judgment... or at least less. We will recognize their flaws as innate, not purposeful or impossible to overcome and we will be quick to forgive and overlook offenses. We will desire to see good things in them, to know them better and be real with them more regularly.

We will be free from our own judgements. We will see that God has made us in particular ways for particular purposes, and different seasons of our lives will grow us in different ways. This will enable us to embrace difficult seasons, knowing they are not the only season we will have in life. We will not be fearful of enduring hardship, because we trust it will end in due time and will have its desired effect.

According to God's word, He is preparing me for good works, according to His purposes (Ephesians 2:10). A long season of sacrificing in ways that are not natural, or even desirable, is preparing me for different hard seasons, which may feel easier after having endured those other hard seasons. I will be stronger because of them, or at least, more willing to endure, because I know there will be another spring at the end of each desolate winter.

While I truly love homeschooling and being home with my kids, I see this season not as the pinnacle of my life, but as a season of preparation and opportunity. Part of the great opportunity lies in being the primary person my children turn to for help. They have come to trust me, to see me as the first person they can come to for whatever need they have. What a blessing that is! Another part of this opportunity is the chance to grow in ways that are uncomfortable in the comfort of my home. I stink at serving, I am often a lousy house-wife, and usually pretty bad at being tidy. But, I'm not called out publicly on these things (unless you count admitting this all to you). I can work on these in private and avoid being shamed in front other others. I can get help from people who love me as needed, and my job is not at stake because of my failures.

The preparation aspect of my role at home is a little harder to remember on difficult days. I have many interruptions throughout my day, a lot of people asking me questions, and so many demands placed upon me, both from myself and from others, that I am forced to be more organized and more intentional. But somehow, I still end up getting sidetracked, becoming distracted by other people's success or by my own misery (yes, that's a little dramatic, but I'm just trying to be honest here). I forget to trust the Lord and work with His plans instead of dwelling on my own. When I put my heart into my "work", no matter what that looks like on each particular day, I can trust this work has a good purpose, one God has set in motion to accumulate and build and grow into another purpose He has for me down the road. When I despise this work of being steady, patient, service-minded, and giving, I miss out on being ready for the other works He is setting on my path. They get delayed, or maybe I'm simply less prepared when I finally catch up to them, and there are few things I hate more than not being prepared for something important!

I hope you are catching my drift in all of this rambling. Our strengths are not always used in all the seasons of our lives, but we can find ways to grow no matter the situations we find ourselves in. I am practicing my strength of Winning Others Over by trying to Win my children's hearts and minds over to the Lord's purposes. I try to use my strength of being an avid Learner to show to beauty of learning to those I encounter, young and old alike, and homeschooling really does afford me great opportunity in this certain strength. While my strength of being an Activator is hard when often stranded at home with obligations other than the tasks I'd like to accomplish, I can work on getting the kids started on their tasks, investing in their needs and goals, finding contentment in God's purpose behind being home, not just in my own goals or personal endeavors.

Most of all, I really want you to see how your strengths can still be used in situations that are not what you had planned, or even what seem fitting. No matter where you find yourself, you can use your God-ordained gifts to grow, bless, and be content, despite every single challenge you encounter. When you look back at these seasons of difficulty, you will smile seeing all the ways you grew, all the ways God prepared you for the situation you are currently facing, and know that once again, you will grow, learn, and be fully capable to walk in the truth.